Botox and the Zombie Apocalypse

We at Raving Reviews have uncovered a staggering revelation. We've discovered the source of the coming Zombie Apocalypse - we found it in Hollywood and the source of the undead pandemic can be traced back to patient zero: Joan Rivers.

The Zombie Apocalypse will be the direct result of celebrity Botox abuse. Joan Rivers is patient zero - in fact we have found out that she had already crossed over to the ranks of the undead years ago (we're working with a team of world renowned forensic anthropologists to determine the exact date).

Joan Rivers is Patient / Zombie Zero

How did we make such a staggering discovery? Last year Raving Reviews opened our own research institute to tackle the challenges that traditional science has dared not address. We call this institute, RavingLabs™ .

Behind the scenes at the launch of RavingLabs™

Uncovering the source of the coming Zombie Apocalypse is not our only project currently underway at RavingLabs; we've launched a full slate of earth-shattering initiatives based upon the following rigorously evaluated questions or observations:

• Dark Matter as a concept is invalid without a better understanding of "the Force."
• Why isn't the Universe slowing down after getting so old?
  
• Multivitamins when combined with fluoride causes Vamparism.
• Cat food is responsible for the growing feline obesity epidemic.
  
• Why is Gravity such a drag?
• Will mixing seafood and oil spills lead to better barbecues?
• Is the Fukushima diet the best approach for rapid weight loss?
• Did Sarah Palin steal Dan Quayle's brain?
• Will global warming lead to better surfing conditions?
  

Some of our research is classified however - so we won't talk about it, no matter how much we might want to... Now back to the Zombies & Botox. What is Botox - Botox is the plague - the same plague that almost wiped out humanity many times before. It is bacteria - but it has become self-aware, intelligent and deviant. Botox planned it's invasion...

In this R-rate explanation - we begin to see how Botox has first lured us into its evil trap and then transformed us into - monsters...

So, you might be asking yourselves - what can we expect from the Zombie Apocalypse? Well, it will be somewhat like Joan Rivers; it will be everywhere, it will be painful and horrifying to behold. It is a shame that the rest of the world must pay such a costly sacrifice to the vanities of Hollywood - if only they had been content with plastic surgery...

This is what the Botox Zombie Apocalypse will look like...

Maybe if we could convince Skynet to attack the Zombies...


Copyright 2011, Raving Reviews™