- Donald Trump's hair secret revealed; it's a symbiotic alien parasite whose tendrils reach into his brain causing him to say stupid things.
- Rehab has just been admitted into Rehab.
- Time Warps battle Wormholes for lame plot device supremacy, Warp Drive still maintains a lead of several light years.
- Hollywood offended after receiving accusations that it is too shallow - heads to spa for manicure and a latte.
- No confirmation yet as to why anyone pays attention to Kim Kardashian or any of her family. No comment from Paris Hilton.
- In extreme austerity measure - IMF director forces maid to remove all her clothes.
- Hollywood enlisted to help find convincing candidates for 2012 GOP primaries.
- Evolution takes a much needed break - planet begins to devolve.
- Osama's porn collection included "Drill Baby Drill," starting Sarah Nailin' - discovery leads to policy change on oil drilling.
- Exxon declares "We've got a Frakking good idea to end the energy crisis." Captain Adama declares Exxon overrun by Cylons.
- Obama declares 'one good spill deserves another' as he opens up Gulf to more drilling.
- Lady Gaga and Goo Goo Dolls to perform benefit concert for speech development; Goo-Goo Gaga Aid.
- Thinking outside of the box wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the packing peanuts left on the floor.
- The prescription for happiness has no co-pay.
- Black Holes renamed Cosmic Deficits.
- Love in the time of MRSA...
- Time is an enigma, the more of it you have the less of it you want and vice versa.
- Flies protest No Fly-Zones in emerging civil rights movement.
- Donald Trump - the inflamed appendix of the body politic.
- Consumer confidence plummets when it is revealed you can't buy happiness.
- Super-bedbugs devour remains of Osama bin Laden, become mini-terrorists.
- If knowledge is power - how do we maintain a renewable energy source?
- Reality - subject to change.
- Ashton Kutcher to receive tiger blood infusion in preparation for new role on Two & Half Men.
- Never have so few earned so much for doing so little.
- Taste, the final frontier.
- Don't judge a Kindle by its cover.
- Through us the Cosmos has become self-aware - it now has an inferiority complex.
- When things get tough, the tough go a mowing...
- The Age of Reason has passed its expiration date.
- Daring Museum heist of mummy leads to confused police confiscating Larry King.
- Trees decide that humans falling in New York City outside the view of trees don't exist.
- Metaphors defeat Analogies in close fought battle for literary dominance.
- UK budget cuts lead to 007 losing two zeros.
- Supercollider particles protest harsh working conditions.
- Global Warming threatens sparkly vampire habitats.
- "God Bless our standard of living, let's keep it that way" -- Paul Simon
- Lunatic Fringe outraged as they become the new moderates.
- Ultimate time travel paradox riddle - what happens when an entire country travels backwards?
- Ultimate time travel paradox riddle - what happens when an entire country travels backwards?
- Behind every great visionary is a crowd of people asking him / her to put on sunglasses.
- Super-BedBugs surpass Killer Bees as number one coolest insect, Cicadas poised to enter race.
- The FDA announces today that Sushi is raw fish and that it has a lot of germs.
- IQs drop as presidential race begins. Direct link to advertising identified.
- 'The Rock' to star in new action film with paper and scissors.
- Gravity falls unexpectedly...
- Trump believes in torture - will keep in his show on the air and continue to speak publicly.
- Apple launches i-Plaid - electronics with designs for men in kilts...
- Mel Gibson and Charley Sheen launch Beaver-mania tour...
- “Don't worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright” -- Bob Marley
- Lindsay Lohan to launch Disney Star rehab clinic as part of her community service.
- "I can actually mentally give myself an orgasm." -- Lady Gaga
- Schwarzenegger explains how the Internet wrecked his marriage - "it was Skynet."
- Cicadas emerge, proclaim they miss the 90's.
- Birthers add "Gate" to their nickname in attempt to stimulate new controversy...
- Stephen Hawking travels back in time - visits Phoenix...
- Gov. Brewer nominates "Hobo with a Shotgun" Arizona film of the year...
- New Summer Blockbuster - Megashark versus Osama Bin Kraken...
- The Geico lizard endorses Newt...
- Johnny Depp named new covergirl spokesperson - unveils new line of eyeliner products.
- Lindsey Lohan launches the crazy celeb klepto tour - horns in on the Charlie Sheen market. Mel Gibson strokes a Beaver in public...
- Maria; "You're Terminated," Arnold "I'll be back."
Copyright 2011, Raving Reviews™
