Last week Raving Reviews launched its own Twitter feed in our non-stop attempt to dominate world media. While we are still waiting for Blogger to restore our lost articles, you can enjoy the first 60 or so posts we've placed on Twitter:
Copyright 2011, Raving Reviews™
- Donald Trump's hair secret revealed; it's a symbiotic alien parasite whose tendrils reach into his brain causing him to say stupid things.
- Rehab has just been admitted into Rehab.
- Time Warps battle Wormholes for lame plot device supremacy, Warp Drive still maintains a lead of several light years.
- Hollywood offended after receiving accusations that it is too shallow - heads to spa for manicure and a latte.
- No confirmation yet as to why anyone pays attention to Kim Kardashian or any of her family. No comment from Paris Hilton.
- In extreme austerity measure - IMF director forces maid to remove all her clothes.
- Hollywood enlisted to help find convincing candidates for 2012 GOP primaries.
- Evolution takes a much needed break - planet begins to devolve.
- Osama's porn collection included "Drill Baby Drill," starting Sarah Nailin' - discovery leads to policy change on oil drilling.
- Exxon declares "We've got a Frakking good idea to end the energy crisis." Captain Adama declares Exxon overrun by Cylons.
- Obama declares 'one good spill deserves another' as he opens up Gulf to more drilling.
- Lady Gaga and Goo Goo Dolls to perform benefit concert for speech development; Goo-Goo Gaga Aid.
- Thinking outside of the box wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the packing peanuts left on the floor.
- The prescription for happiness has no co-pay.
- Black Holes renamed Cosmic Deficits.
- Love in the time of MRSA...
- Time is an enigma, the more of it you have the less of it you want and vice versa.
- Flies protest No Fly-Zones in emerging civil rights movement.
- Donald Trump - the inflamed appendix of the body politic.
- Consumer confidence plummets when it is revealed you can't buy happiness.
- Super-bedbugs devour remains of Osama bin Laden, become mini-terrorists.
- If knowledge is power - how do we maintain a renewable energy source?
- Reality - subject to change.
- Ashton Kutcher to receive tiger blood infusion in preparation for new role on Two & Half Men.
- Never have so few earned so much for doing so little.
- Taste, the final frontier.
- Don't judge a Kindle by its cover.
- Through us the Cosmos has become self-aware - it now has an inferiority complex.
- When things get tough, the tough go a mowing...
- The Age of Reason has passed its expiration date.
- Daring Museum heist of mummy leads to confused police confiscating Larry King.
- Trees decide that humans falling in New York City outside the view of trees don't exist.
- Metaphors defeat Analogies in close fought battle for literary dominance.
- UK budget cuts lead to 007 losing two zeros.
- Supercollider particles protest harsh working conditions.
- Global Warming threatens sparkly vampire habitats.
- "God Bless our standard of living, let's keep it that way" -- Paul Simon
- Lunatic Fringe outraged as they become the new moderates.
- Ultimate time travel paradox riddle - what happens when an entire country travels backwards?
- Ultimate time travel paradox riddle - what happens when an entire country travels backwards?
- Behind every great visionary is a crowd of people asking him / her to put on sunglasses.
- Super-BedBugs surpass Killer Bees as number one coolest insect, Cicadas poised to enter race.
- The FDA announces today that Sushi is raw fish and that it has a lot of germs.
- IQs drop as presidential race begins. Direct link to advertising identified.
- 'The Rock' to star in new action film with paper and scissors.
- Gravity falls unexpectedly...
- Trump believes in torture - will keep in his show on the air and continue to speak publicly.
- Apple launches i-Plaid - electronics with designs for men in kilts...
- Mel Gibson and Charley Sheen launch Beaver-mania tour...
- “Don't worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright” -- Bob Marley
- Lindsay Lohan to launch Disney Star rehab clinic as part of her community service.
- "I can actually mentally give myself an orgasm." -- Lady Gaga
- Schwarzenegger explains how the Internet wrecked his marriage - "it was Skynet."
- Cicadas emerge, proclaim they miss the 90's.
- Birthers add "Gate" to their nickname in attempt to stimulate new controversy...
- Stephen Hawking travels back in time - visits Phoenix...
- Gov. Brewer nominates "Hobo with a Shotgun" Arizona film of the year...
- New Summer Blockbuster - Megashark versus Osama Bin Kraken...
- The Geico lizard endorses Newt...
- Johnny Depp named new covergirl spokesperson - unveils new line of eyeliner products.
- Lindsey Lohan launches the crazy celeb klepto tour - horns in on the Charlie Sheen market. Mel Gibson strokes a Beaver in public...
- Maria; "You're Terminated," Arnold "I'll be back."
Copyright 2011, Raving Reviews™
