Top 10 Ways to get the Plague - The Tudors

In the Showtime series, The Tudors, one of the things we learn early on is that the plague is an ever present part of Medieval Life. In fact King Henry VIII's son and a close friend both die from what is known as the Sweating Sickness (see the picture below).

A victim in the advance stages of sweating sickness

While doing diligent research on The Tudors for our reviews we came across some little known but potentially valuable medical advice from the mid-1500's that was no doubt employed to keep the plague at bay. This find consists of two top 10 lists; one to avoid the plague in the first place and the second concerns itself with how to cure yourself of plague.

Diagnosing Plague involved rigorous scientific discipline

Top 10 Ways to Avoid the Plague:

1. Never French-kiss a witch (you can try the floating in the bathtub test to determine if she is a witch).
2. Never get too familiar with your familiars - if you have black cats or other demons in familiar form around the house, don't let them in your bed. 
3. Never start, buy or otherwise own a Flea Circus. 
4. Don't listen to Ben when he asks you to let all of his buddies move in with you.
5. Don't lick reptiles even if they taste really, really good.
6. Don't listen to heresy like the Earth is Round - it'll only lead to trouble.
7. Don't eat cooked bacon - it's much better raw.
8. Bleed yourself regularly and for God's sake don't wash the knife. 
9. Bathing, except for witches, is generally frowned upon.
10. Don't have picnics next to mass burial sites.

Contrary to popular belief - Plague was well understood in Medieval Times (not the restaurant show attraction - but the time period)

If those tips didn't prevent the onset of Plague or Sweating Sickness, there was still hope. Here are the Top 10 Medieval Cures for Plague:

1. Burn a witch for good luck.
2. Burn a neighbor good luck (you must accuse them of heresy first).
3. Cover yourself in a poultice of warm cow dung and dance in a circle for 3 hours.
4. If you must take a bath (due to high fever let's say), fill the water with fresh cow urine and dung.
5. Never ever pop the plague postules - let them get as big as possible.
6. Bleed yourself, a lot.
7. Hide under a table or bed - eventually the plague will become confused and leave.
8. Remove your eyes, that way you can't see the plague anymore and it won't be able to see you either.
9. Flog yourself and others nearby.
10. Drink massive amounts of ale and grog if available, and let your milk ferment before drinking.

We love the BBC - and Horrible Histories

Copyright 2012 - Raving Reviews™ - All Rights Reserved

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Medieval Family - The Tudors

Every family has their issues; some it appears are more dysfunctional than others though. And this has been true across the ages. It's especially difficult when the family goes through a contested divorce and has custody battles and so forth. Now, imagine sticking all of this somewhere in the mid-1500's where plagues and witch-burning were common and indoor plumbing wasn't and you can see that a Medieval Family, like the Tudors was bound to have challenges.

King Henry VIII has a bit of a reputation but of course he didn't live alone, he had family, friends, advisers and enemies and they were all part of the troubles surrounding the reign of the Tudors. That's the focus of a superb showtime original series that's now available on Netflix. "The Tudors" takes us back in time and deep into the family life of one Henry Tudor of England. It's attention to detail and use of costume is one of the most remarkable aspects of the show, which lasted for 3 or 4 seasons. Now, it is very difficult to review something as massive as this show given the sheer quantity of storyline it tackles, so we will return to it from time to and focus on specific parts of the series. Today we're going to introduce the head of the family, Henry...

These troubadours were immediately beheaded after this impertinent performance

Is it better to be feared or loved? We soon found out what Henry VIII thought...

Jonathan Rhys Meyers plays King Henry and throws himself into the role immediately. His King Henry is more youthful and girl-crazy than we might have imagined but that seems to make sense given when they begin the story. Meyer's has played some offbeat characters before, notably the psycho confederate raider in "Ride with the Devil." He is supported by a wildly talented cast including Sam Neill, Henry Cavill (who will be the new Superman) and Natalie Dormer (who had a cameo in Captain America as the hot blonde) among others. This show is gripping, it's educational, its sexy and its just fun to watch. And Henry is by no means the only bad guy in the story. In fact, he seems surrounded by a host of characters far worse than himself which seems hard to believe but it's true. Most of all though Henry is a man in love, in love all the time with a lot of different women but a few times with just one and he takes it to the extreme. We were wondering what would have happened to England if they had No Fault Divorce back then. Anyway, like the intro tells, to really know a story like this one, you'll have to sit through at least 3 seasons of episodes to truly understand what's going on. Lucky for us, they were all easy to watch.

This is King Henry VIII's lesser known 7th wife, Queen Sofia of Spain

A condensed history of the first 2 seasons of the Tudors

There are also a great many lessons to be learned in this series as well. We'll refer to these as the Tudor's Family Counseling Guide:

1. Never kiss your brother behind closed doors.
2. Don't threaten to chop off people's heads unless you're actually going to do it right away.
3. Don't count on the King of France for anything.
4. Don't joust with the King.
5. Don't have daughters and expect to live.
6. Don't start your own religion just to get divorced.
7. Don't get an apartment in the Tower of London.
8. Don't disagree with the King, daddy knows best. 
9. Don't end your sentences with "I am the Kind of England" it just comes across as arrogant.
10. Don't marry off your 4 year old daughters.
11. Don't introduce your hot girlfriend/wife/daughter/aunt/niece/grandma to the King and not expect her to get booty-called.
12. Don't run around in drafty castles naked (or you may end up with Consumption).

Copyright 2012 - Raving Reviews™ - All Rights Reserved

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Welcome to the Zombie Apocalypse - Raving Playlist

We had hoped to post this just before Halloween, but things got out of hand and we forgot. This is another of our themed playlists - today's list is a tribute to zombies, ghouls and other-worldly paranormal music. We also think it's important that when the Zombie Apocalypse does occur (probably sometime in December) that everyone have the appropriate soundtrack ready to play as the undead devour our brains.

Rob Zombie needs no monster makeup - an Excitable Boy for sure

 

Welcome to the Zombie Apocalypse (here it is on Spotify):

Rob Zombie – Dragula
Tom Petty – Zombie Zoo
Danny Jacob – My Undead Mummy and Me
Blue Oyster Cult – (Don't Fear) The Reaper
Vaski – Zombie Apocalypse
Jonathan Coulton – Re: Your Brains
Rob Zombie – American Witch
The Doors – The End
The Flaming Lips – If I Only Had A Brain
Death Cab for Cutie – Earth Angel
Misfits – Monster Mash
Warren Zevon – Excitable Boy - 2007 Remastered LP Version
Jonathan Coulton – Tom Cruise Crazy
White Zombie – I, Zombie
Rob Zombie – Living Dead Girl
Here Come The Mummies – Ra Ra Ra
Dead Man's Bones – My Body's a Zombie For You
Kansas – Dust In The Wind
Horrorpops – Walk Like A Zombie
Natalia Kills – Zombie
Wagner – Die Walkure - Ride of the Valkyries (as heard in Apocalypse Now)
St. Vincent – The Apocalypse Song
Horrorpops – Walk Like A Zombie
Warren Zevon – Werewolves Of London
House of Heroes – Lovesick Zombie
White Zombie – More Human Than Human
Sohodolls – My Vampire
Jonathan Coulton – Still Alive (feat. Sara Quin)
Ghoultown – Drink With The Living Dead
Beardyman – Vampire Skank
R.E.M. – It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)
Escape the Fate – My Apocalypse
Social Distortion – Road Zombie
The Casualties – Apocalypse Today
Crooked Fingers – Your Apocalypse
Paramore – Monster
Rage Against The Machine – Born As Ghosts
Here Come The Mummies – Booty
White Zombie – Thunder Kiss '65
Lady Gaga – Monster
R.E.M. – Bang And Blame
Social Distortion – Mommy's Little Monster
Voltaire – Vampire Club (Twilight version)
Josh Ritter – Monster Ballads
Bobby "Boris" Pickett – Monster Mash
Warren Zevon – Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner - 2007 Remastered LP Version
Misfits – Night Of The Living Dead
blink-182 – Ghost On The Dance Floor
Sugarcult – Dead Living
Florence + The Machine – Ghosts - Demo
Stevie Nicks – Moonlight [A Vampire's Dream]
Superdrag – Do The Vampire
Kreeps – Bad Voodoo
Radiohead – Give Up The Ghost
Annie Lennox – Love Song For A Vampire
The London Suede – The Living Dead
Stars – I Died So I Could Haunt You
Paramore – Misguided Ghosts
The Wailin' Jennys – Apocalypse Lullaby
The Brains – Screaming
Tilly And The Wall – Nights of the Living Dead
Fright Ranger – Oh Oh Oh Sexy Vampire (JUSTiNB's Video Edit)
The Bees – These Are The Ghosts (Undead Version)
The Decemberists – Dracula's Daughter > O Valencia!
Here Come The Mummies – Attack Of The Wiener Man
Paramore – Misery Business
Zombie Girl – Living Dead Superstars
Counting Crows – A Long December
Falling In Reverse – I'm Not A Vampire
Flogging Molly – May The Living Be Dead In Our Wake
Stars – We Don't Want Your Body
My Chemical Romance – The Ghost Of You
Living Colour – Elvis Is Dead
Dr. Dog – Vampire
White Zombie – Children Of The Grave
Warren Zevon – I'll Sleep When I'm Dead
Alice In Chains – Check My Brain
Alice In Chains – The Killer Is Me
Soundgarden – The Day I Tried To Live
Soundgarden – Fell On Black Days
The Bangles – Walk Like An Egyptian - Album/Single
The Hollies – Witchy Woman
Donovan – Season Of The Witch
Queens Of The Stone Age – Burn The Witch
Alvin And The Chipmunks – Witch Doctor
The Sonics – The Witch
The Cult – The Witch (edit)
Nekromantix – I Kissed a Ghoul
Butthole Surfers – Dracula From Houston
Zombina & The Skeletones – Dracula Blood
The Decemberists – Calamity Song
Morcheeba – Blood Like Lemonade
Eric Weissberg & Deliverance – Dueling Banjos
Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Skeletons
Crash Test Dummies – The Ghosts That Haunt Me
Eddie Spaghetti – Sleepy Vampire
U2 – Until The End Of The World
Concrete Blonde – Bloodletting (The Vampire Song)

Warren Zevon back in the day, when he was cool

Copyright 2012 - Raving Reviews™ - All Rights Reserved

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Why We Don't Believe in Ratings

You may have noticed that we don't have ratings associated with any of our reviews and were probably wondering - why is it we don't have any stars, smiley faces, points or grades assessed to these movies and things we're critiquing? Well, we have an answer to your burning question - at least this one anyway. We here at Raving Reviews do not believe in ratings. Why, you ask? You sure do ask a lot of questions, ok, here's our list as to why we don't believe in ratings:

• Ratings are subjective, art is subjective, subjectivity is subjective. (we're very objective in making these claims)

"That's 1 star out of 4 you miserable little punk "- oh the memories we can never erase...

• Because we were rated in playgrounds as children and are emotionally scarred now.

• Because we don't believe in IQs and ratings are a lot like IQs.

Our IQ is none of your business, not that they're small - 'cause they're not - really

• Because it's all political and we hate politics. (well, sometimes)

• Because we don't know more than you do and you don't more than us and this is a Democracy damn it ! (guess we do like politics after all).

• Because low ratings might cause otherwise nice people to starve or high ratings might allow jerky people to get rich just because they're good directors or actors, etc. (we're sure that some of Hollywood's worst films were created by its nicest residents).

• What if we had ratings in the Louvre? Would you give the Mona Lisa a 2.3 out 5 - or worse?

This is what would happen if the Louvre had ratings.

• We believe in the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle of Motion Pictures; "When you measure a movie, you become part of that movie's marketing campaign."

If you're not sure about this, join the club

•  Because not everything is about logic you green-blooded, pointy-eared bastard!

I need a stress pill

• Because we don't believe in standardized assessments and making everyone think the same way. We're not robots, we're human beings dammit! (refer to photo above). 

• Because we reserve the right to change our minds and those pesky ratings might pin us down.

• Because it's hard to rate geniuses and even harder to rate morons. 

We hope that answers all of your questions, we've got a survey for you to fill out now.

Copyright 2012 - Raving Reviews™ - All Rights Reserved

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The Thing - A Raving Classic

What makes a movie a classic film? Is it the age of the picture, its relative popularity; does it have to be one particular genre or is it a genre unto itself? Do critics determine what is or isn't classic or is it the movie lovers? Do you have to take film appreciation courses to be able to identify whether or not a movie is classic? We will try to answer those questions for you as we introduce the first review in a new series we're calling, Raving Classics.

Answers:

1. You don't have to take any film classes to be able to identify a classic. We took some of those classes and can assure you they were a giant waste of time.
2. Classics don't belong to any one genre or any one time - they cross all of them. Films released this year could be classics and virtually any type of film might be considered classic - even some documentaries (Capra's "Why we Fight" is a good example).
3. You don't need critics to tell what is a classic, but they can help you find them if you haven't already discovered them on your own.

Classic Criteria: Here are some guidelines that might be used to help assess whether a film is worthy of being called "Classic."

• It's fun to watch.
• It never gets old - you watch it over and over again and still appreciate it.
• It makes you feel something, or think something new, interesting or otherwise thrilling.
• A classic often gets remade, but the remakes to a real classic never measure up to the original (which is perhaps why no one has tried a remake of Gone with the Wind).
• A classic has memorable moments that stay with you and often these become cultural guideposts or pillars that help to define an age.

So there you have it; our criteria for a classic film. With that we will now review our first Raving Classic - just in time for the onset of cold weather but not too long after Halloween. We're reviewing one of our favorite movies ever - John Carpenter's, The Thing.

Things heat up in the coldest place in the world... Poster art for The Thing

John Carpenter's The Thing (1982) is all about atmosphere - it takes us to the end of the world and strands us there with a handful of bearded and ultimately desperate men (this is definitely not a chick flick). The film's understated soundtrack evokes Jaws but at a much deeper level - helping to establish a sense of foreboding that builds steadily as we drive deeper into the mystery and paranoia that ensues. As you may know this film is itself a remake of a 1951 film and has been remade again recently (2011), which makes it a bit unusual as classics go in that the second one hit the jackpot while the first and third tries missed badly.

CPR was never the same after this scene from "The Thing"

 John Carpenter's The Thing succeeded where the others failed for a number of reasons:

1. An excellent ensemble cast with a very strong performances by the lead Kurt Russell and his sort of nemesis, Keith David (who can now be seen in Cloud Atlas).
2. A very neatly wrapped storyline - it wasn't complicated by any means - but seemed perfectly believable. We're dropped right into the situation and accept it instantly.
3. The tension of this film is palpable. Even after watching it more than 10 times it's still there - and the question of whether or not you can trust the folks around you allows us to drop into a temporary paranoid fantasy without having to stay too long (unlike the X-Files).
4. No One Gets Out Alive - How cool is that? No obvious sequels with the same cast anyway.
5. The Big Question - This film doesn't answer the big question -  what happens next and that makes the movie even more menacing. The 2011 remake actually represents a sort of prequel with a focus on the Norwegian team that dug up the monster so we've still never found out what happened when the rescue team returns to the American Research station.
6. The Battle between McCready and the Monsters was Epic - This guy was cool, the hat, the Whiskey and the wits to take on the toughest bastards in the galaxy.
7. Groundbreaking Special Effects - This movie came well before the advent of computer animation. These monsters were handcrafted with lots of love and still look convincing today. Who can ever forget the slime dogs and spider-head guy?  Unlike many monster, alien or horror flicks, these effects truly advance the plot and ensure the believability of the premise. They are among us and they are not nice...

McCready encounters a dead Norwegian (segue to 2011 remake)

The characters in The Thing seem like a very ordinary bunch of men placed in an extraordinary situation which unfolds before their eyes very rapidly. The situation makes them question who exactly their co-workers are in a more profound way than most of us will ever do. And keep in mind, the first two versions of the Thing were still very much Cold War metaphors - placing them both in cold locales was like having your cake and eating it too.  Being paranoid and scared can be a lot of fun, so next time it starts snowing out, turn the lights down low and watch the 1982 version of The Thing.

A really great trailer, but that's to be expected. 

 

Copyright 2012 - Raving Reviews™ - All Rights Reserved

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Alternative Reality - The Ultimate Playlist

At least we think it is. We haven't talked much about music on Raving Reviews yet but we'll start today by opening up a dialog about Alternative Music. The first question that pops into our minds is "alternative to what, exactly?" Interesting question - we'll assume it means alternative to whatever the popular music of the day might be but then that could encompass a lot more than what we consider to be Alternative - it could include for example Polka Disco or Electronic Didgeridoos. It seems as though a definition may be in order before we share our most awesome playlist with you.

The B-52's were an early Alt band (before it was called alternative)

Alternative Music - (our own personal definition): A form of rock music that highlights nontraditional harmonies, stylistic approaches or instrumental innovations. It is often place where popular trends are born and later become mainstream. Alternative music often appeals to younger audiences but is not limited to them. Many "Alt" bands have a club band feel to them, others create a persona wholly unique to themselves.

Album art from Muse - Supermassive Black Hole, 2008 - Physics has a beat

One thing we're sure of after scouring many lists of favorite alternative songs or bands is that no two people define it the same way. With that in mind here is our list (you can find it on Spotify if you'd like to listen):

 

Alternative Reality

• Muse – Supermassive Black Hole
• Live – Lightning Crashes
• The B-52's – 52 Girls - Party Mix Version
• Nirvana – All Apologies
• Screaming Trees – Nearly Lost You
• Dinosaur Jr. – Feel The Pain - 2007 Remastered LP Version
• Florence + The Machine – Dog Days Are Over
• 22-20s – Devil In Me
• Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Maps
• Alice In Chains – No Excuses
• Soundgarden – My Wave
• Franz Ferdinand – Ulysses
• The Hives – 1000 Answers
• Depeche Mode – Personal Jesus
• The Cult – Fire Woman
• Pearl Jam – Given To Fly
• Jimmy Eat World – My Best Theory
• My Chemical Romance – SING
• Live – Selling The Drama
• Muse – Uprising
• Nirvana – The Man Who Sold The World
• Paramore – Decode - Twilight Soundtrack Version
• R.E.M. – Shiny Happy People
• Shinedown – The Crow & The Butterfly
• The Raveonettes – Recharge & Revolt
• Violent Femmes – Blister In The Sun
• Vampire Weekend – A-Punk
• Lifehouse – Halfway Gone
• The Wallflowers – 6th Avenue Heartache
• Third Eye Blind – Never Let You Go
• The Black Keys – Lonely Boy
• Counting Crows – Untitled (Love Song)
• The English Beat – Mirror In The Bathroom
• The Cult – She Sells Sanctuary
• Death Cab for Cutie – Meet Me On The Equinox - Soundtrack Album Version
• The Psychedelic Furs – Love My Way
• Beck – The New Pollution
• 30 Seconds To Mars – Closer To The Edge
• Toad The Wet Sprocket – Fall Down
• The Fixx – Red Skies - Original Version
• Placebo – For What It's Worth
• Alice In Chains – Nutshell
• The Cult – Love Removal Machine
• Kings Of Leon – Radioactive
• My Chemical Romance – Na Na Na [Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na]
• Elvis Costello – (What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love, & Understanding
• The Decemberists – Down By The Water
• The Raveonettes – Lust
• Days Of The New – Touch, Peel And Stand
• Counting Crows – Hanginaround
• Weezer – Pork And Beans
• The Cranberries – Animal Instinct
• The B-52's – Junebug
• The Goo Goo Dolls – Broadway
• Pixies – The Holiday Song
• Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Gold Lion
• Simple Minds – Sanctify Yourself
• New Politics – Yeah Yeah Yeah
• The Cult – Rain
• Lifehouse – Hanging By A Moment
• Depeche Mode – Strangelove
• Pearl Jam – Elderly Woman Behind The Counter in a Small Town
• Radiohead – Let Down
• The Hives – Come On!
• The Fixx – Beautiful Friction
• Beck – Black Tambourine
• Gin Blossoms – Hey Jealousy
• Kings Of Leon – Knocked Up
• The Cranberries – Dreams
• Tonic – If You Could Only See
• The Smashing Pumpkins – Cherub Rock
• Fine Young Cannibals – Good Thing
• Depeche Mode – Policy Of Truth - 2006 Digital Remaster
• The Killers – All These Things That I've Done
• The B-52's – Topaz
• The Cult – Lil’ Devil
• Chevelle – The Red
• The Lonely Island – Attracted To Us
• Echo And The Bunnymen – Lips Like Sugar
• Pixies – Where Is My Mind?
• Toad The Wet Sprocket – All I Want
• The Hives – Two-Timing Touch and Broken Bones
• The Killers – Somebody Told Me
• The Smashing Pumpkins – Zero
• The Cranberries – Linger
• Red Hot Chili Peppers – Dani California
• Dishwalla – Angels Or Devils
• The Raveonettes – Love In A Trashcan
• The Alan Parsons Project – Breakdown
• Live – All Over You
• Depeche Mode – Enjoy The Silence - Remastered Version Original
• Three Days Grace – The Good Life
• blink-182 – The Rock Show
• The Fixx – Just Before Dawn
• The Smashing Pumpkins – Tonight, Tonight
• The Raconteurs – Steady, As She Goes
• R.E.M. – The One I Love
• The B-52's – Cosmic Thing
• Red Hot Chili Peppers – Otherside
• Muse – Unnatural Selection
• Pearl Jam – Black
• Violent Femmes – Gone Daddy Gone
• The Hives – Walk Idiot Walk
• Lifehouse – You And Me
• Pixies – Here Comes Your Man
• Three Days Grace – Animal I Have Become
• Paramore – Misery Business
• Sonic Youth – Incinerate
• Breaking Benjamin – The Diary of Jane
• The Alan Parsons Project – I Robot
• Red Hot Chili Peppers – Under The Bridge
• Dinosaur Jr. – See It On Your Side
• Arctic Monkeys – Fluorescent Adolescent
• Jane's Addiction – Just Because
• The Fixx – One Thing Leads To Another
• 22-20s – Such A Fool
• Good Charlotte – Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous
• Arctic Monkeys – Teddy Picker
• Anberlin – The Feel Good Drag
• The B-52's – Deadbeat Club
• Depeche Mode – Just Can't Get Enough
• Red Hot Chili Peppers – Parallel Universe
• The Cult – Sun King
• Lifehouse – First Time
• The Alan Parsons Project – Games People Play
• Dinosaur Jr. – Don't Pretend You Didn't Know
• Pearl Jam – Alive
• Dinosaur Jr. – Watch the Corners
• Paramore – I Caught Myself - Twilight Soundtrack Version
• Smashing Pumpkins – Hummer
• Muse – Starlight
• Lifehouse – From Where You Are
• The Heavy – How You Like Me Now
• The Smashing Pumpkins – Bullet With Butterfly Wings
• The Killers – Smile Like You Mean It
• Muse – Hysteria
• The Go-Betweens – Love Goes On!
• The Smithereens – Only A Memory
• Pearl Jam – Corduroy - 2011 Remaster
• The Smashing Pumpkins – Tonight, Tonight
• The Killers – When You Were Young
• Beck – Sexx Laws
• The Cranberries – Analyse
• The Hives – Go Right Ahead
• Depeche Mode – Everything Counts
• The Fixx – Stand Or Fall
• Shinedown – Second Chance
• Three Days Grace – Break
• blink-182 – All The Small Things
• Breaking Benjamin – Without You
• Staind – It's Been Awhile
• The Fixx – Saved By Zero
• The Hives – Hate To Say I Told You So
• 3 Doors Down – When You're Young
• R.E.M. – Pop Song 89
• The English Beat – Hands Off... She's Mine
• The Cranberries – Yeats' Grave
• Pixies – Cecilia Ann
• Toadies – I Come From The Water
• 3 Doors Down – Here Without You
• Jane's Addiction – Superhero
• Screaming Trees – Ash Gray Sunday
• Pearl Jam – Jeremy
• Green Day – Oh Love
• Pearl Jam – Once
• Red Hot Chili Peppers – Around The World
• Gin Blossoms – Until I Fall Away
• The Cure – Lovesong
• Prodigy – Firestarter
• Jimmy Eat World – If You Don't, Don't
• 3 Doors Down – When I'm Gone
• Jane's Addiction – Had A Dad
• Radiohead – Fake Plastic Trees
• The Smashing Pumpkins – Today
• The Hives – Tick, Tick, Boom
• Nirvana – Heart Shaped Box
• Pearl Jam – Just Breathe
• The English Beat – Save It For Later
• My Chemical Romance – Helena - So Long & Goodnight   Album Version
• Evanescence – Made Of Stone
• The B-52's – Private Idaho - Party Mix-Album Version
• Muse – Plug In Baby
• The Offspring – Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)
• Death Cab for Cutie – You Are A Tourist
• Plain White T's – Hey There Delilah
• Breaking Benjamin – Breath
• The Hives – Patrolling Days
• 3 Doors Down – Your Arms Feel Like home
• Muse – Map Of The Problematique
• The Hives – Abra Cadaver
• Staind – So Far Away
• blink-182 – After Midnight
• Radiohead – Paranoid Android
• Live – I Alone
• 3 Doors Down – Away From The Sun
• Pearl Jam – Yellow Ledbetter
• Nirvana – Dumb
• The Offspring – The Future Is Now
• Good Charlotte – I Don't Wanna Be In Love (Dance Floor Anthem)
• Neon Trees – Teenage Sounds
• PORNO FOR PYROS – Pets
• The English Beat – The Tears Of A Clown
• Green Day – Brain Stew
• Jimmy Eat World – Hear You Me
• 3 Doors Down – Be Like That
• Oasis – Wonderwall
• The Smashing Pumpkins – 1979
• Evanescence – What You Want
• Radiohead – High And Dry
• The Smithereens – Blood And Roses
• blink-182 – Going Away To College
• Muse – Undisclosed Desires
• The Killers – Change Your Mind
• Nirvana – Love Buzz
• Counting Crows – Round Here
• The Smashing Pumpkins – Disarm
• Gin Blossoms – Follow You Down
• 3 Doors Down – Time Of My Life
• Nirvana – Pennyroyal Tea - Single Mix
• Jimmy Eat World – The Authority Song
• Placebo – Ashtray Heart
• Green Day – Jesus Of Suburbia
• Radiohead – Karma Police
• The Black Keys – Howlin' For You
• Jimmy Eat World – Your House
• The Bravery – Believe
• R.E.M. – Man On The Moon
• Kings Of Leon – Pyro
• Oasis – Live Forever
• Fall Out Boy – Dance, Dance
• Staind – Eyes Wide Open
• Sonic Youth – Kool Thing
• Jimmy Eat World – The Middle
• The Smithereens – A Girl Like You
• 3 Doors Down – Citizen/Soldier
• blink-182 – First Date
• The Goo Goo Dolls – Iris
• Black Taxi – Tightrope
• The Smiths – This Charming Man
• Green Day – When I Come Around
• R.E.M. – Imitation Of Life
• A Flock Of Seagulls – Telecommunication
• Jimmy Eat World – A Praise Chorus
• The B-52's – Love Shack
• Fireflight – Unbreakable
• A Flock Of Seagulls – Wishing (If I Had A Photograph Of You)
• The Black Keys – Everlasting Light
• Radiohead – Creep
• Evanescence – My Last Breath
• Plain White T's – Rhythm Of Love
• Dinosaur Jr. – I Know It Oh So Well
• Nine Inch Nails – Closer
• Temple Of The Dog – Say Hello 2 Heaven
• Neon Trees – 1983
• Alice In Chains – Check My Brain
• The Go-Betweens – Streets Of Your Town
• Gin Blossoms – Til I Hear It From You
• The Raconteurs – Salute Your Solution
• Nirvana – Aneurysm
• Neon Trees – Everybody Talks
• Sublime – Doin' Time
• The Goo Goo Dolls – Here Is Gone
• Fall Out Boy – Sugar, We're Goin Down
• Black Taxi – Friend
• Counting Crows – Hanginaround
• Fall Out Boy – I Don't Care - Single Version
• Green Day – Good Riddance [Time Of Your Life]
• Neon Trees – Animal
• Anberlin – The Unwinding Cable Car
• Concrete Blonde – Everybody Knows
• Fireflight – For Those Who Wait
• The Bravery – An Honest Mistake - CD Album Version
• Nirvana – About A Girl
• The Blackout – Higher & Higher
• Neon Trees – Your Surrender
• Chris Cornell – Sunshower - Great Expectations Soundtrack
• The B-52's – Bushfire
• Nirvana – Big Cheese
• Gin Blossoms – Found Out About You
• The Psychedelic Furs – Heaven
• Dishwalla – Counting Blue Cars (Tell Me Your Thoughts On God)
• The Posies – The Glitter Prize - Feat. Kay Hanley
• Fiona Apple – Criminal
• The Goo Goo Dolls – Slide
• Kings Of Leon – Closer
• Counting Crows – Accidentally In Love
• Chevelle – I Get It
• Meat Puppets – Backwater
• The Cure – Just Like Heaven
• Elvis Costello – Veronica
• New Politics – Dignity
• Echo And The Bunnymen – The Killing Moon
• The Wallflowers – The Difference
• Vampire Weekend – Oxford Comma
• Oingo Boingo – Dead Man's Party
• The Offspring – The Kids Aren't Alright
• Fastball – The Way
• Weezer – Island In The Sun
• Franz Ferdinand – Take Me Out
• Fine Young Cannibals – She Drives Me Crazy
• Morrissey – Suedehead
• Third Eye Blind – How's It Going To Be
• Toadies – Possum Kingdom
• Toad The Wet Sprocket – Something's Always Wrong
• Death Cab for Cutie – Soul Meets Body
• The Decemberists – This Is Why We Fight
• Deftones – Digital Bath
• The Black Keys – Tighten Up
• The Flaming Lips – She Don't Use Jelly
• Prodigy – Breathe
• The Heavy – Big Bad Wolf
• Florence + The Machine – Spectrum (Say My Name) - Calvin Harris Remix
• 22-20s – Why Don't You Do It For Me?
• Tonic – Open Up Your Eyes
• Shinedown – Sound Of Madness
• Temple Of The Dog – Say Hello 2 Heaven
• Fall Out Boy – Hum Hallelujah
• Hum – Stars
• Dinosaur Jr. – Rude
• Live – The Dolphin's Cry
• Vampire Weekend – A-Punk

Copyright 2012 - Raving Reviews™ - All Rights Reserved

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Top 10 New Star Wars Episode Titles

Well, Halloween may be over, but yesterday's remarkable news about Disney buying LucasFilms gives us an opportunity to spring another top 10 list on you. Today, we're going to explore how the Star Wars legacy ought to be continued. Some might say that we need Mr. Lucas, the man who started it all for it to be legitimate, but we disagree. Star Wars is likely to become a bit more like Star Trek in that it is now a multi-generational affair - where every 10 years or so the franchise gets expanded or re-imagined a bit.  There is no shortage of directions it might be steered; one of our personal favorites is the notion that perhaps parts of Asimov's Foundation series could be mixed into the larger Star Wars Universe of tales (although Roland Emmerich bought the rights to Foundation several ago, nothing has been done yet). Who hasn't watched the magnificently computer-modeled Coruscant and not thought of Trantor? Perhaps it may be best to keep these alternate realities separate; who's to say how many galactic republic turned empire story-lines we could support?

Star Wars merged with the Foundation Trilogy? Probably not.

That still leaves us without a premise to launch the next generation of Star Wars films, so we're going to propose our top ten recommendations for new episodes that may fit well within the Disney pantheon of characters below:

• Episode 7 - The Ewok Menace: The unsuspecting and cuddly Ewoks suffer as fall-out from the exploded Death Star leads to strange ailments and behaviors among them. Eventually, they grow (more) menacing fangs and develop a thirst for blood and power, but still remain cute. The Ewoks turn to the dark side and threaten the newly formed rebel republic.

For those of you who thought the original episodes were cloaked in integrity, remember this?

• Episode 8 - Jar Jar's Revenge: Jar Jar Binx catapulted to power in episodes 1-3, and was almost single-highhandedly responsible for plunging the Republic into war. He was the G.W. Bush of his time with Darth Cheney in the background pulling the strings.  But what happened after the empire took over? Jar Jar became a shrewd and ruthless politician who sought out and destroyed the rebels (the formers friends who had mocked him). He also targeted all of the other cute and cuddly characters that had proved more lovable and less offensive than himself - Jar Jar puts an end to the Ewok Menace.  

Despite many scandals with college interns, nothing stopped Jar Jar's rise to power

• Episode 9 - Hope and Change: Many politicians vie for the chancellor's seat, including Jar Jar. Yet none of them proves to be that different from the others and despite their calls for reform, the Republic sinks deeper into an Imperial system. This is the beginning of the "Drone Wars."

• Episode -1 The Umpire Strikes Out: Baseball is banned in the Republic after a lot of very questionable calls are made. The Jedi take over officiating for all other professional sports in the Galaxy.

Mickey-wan was defeated in Episode -2, right?

• Episode -2  Return of the Rat: Mickey-wan-Mousey is the one - the one who will bring balance to the force - except that there is much fear in him. He sees - cats - coming from all directions and all the powers he has learned to harness are now turning against him. Master Yoda is forced to lure him into a giant trap, baited with peanut butter. The Rat is defeated, but not before fighting an epic battle with the muppets. 

Yoda's family reunion.

• Episode -3 The Jedi's Apprentice: A rodent with an extraordinary level of miti-clorians in its blood is found by the found by the Jedi and raised by master Yoda. This Rodent is known as Mickey-wan-Mousey.

May the force by with you - as you wait in line for Space Mountain

• Episode Emc2 - The Return of Einstein's Brain: Children on Tatooine come across Einstein's brain and bring it to their biology class to use in an experiment. They place the brain in a droid but something goes terribly awry and the new super-brilliant droid, known as EMC2 - launches a Spartacus-like droid rebellion only to be later defeated by Jar Jar Binx. 

He is almost as cute as an Ewok

• Episode Chapter 11 - The Insolvency: LucasFilms without Lucas is like an ocean without water - or maybe a desert without sand or perhaps even Abbott without Costello. At any rate, Disney forgot to read the fine print where Lucas kept all the merchandising rights and the rest is, history...

• Episode W-D 40 - Attack of the Rust: C3PO and R2D2 end up in an assisted living facility for droids, but the all they get is a steady diet of used oil which gums up their works and slows them down. Nurse Rivets has it in for them but finally they manage to escape after Chewbaca (who is in the facility with them for some unknown reason) throws a refrigerator through the window. This all sounds like its happened before - in  galaxy far, far away.

• Episode 1972 - It's a Small Universe: Luke Skywalker is transported back to the early 1970's on Earth where becomes a Disney Imagineer and creates theme-park rides for DisneyWorld. After coming up with "It's a Small World" he is fired.

These dolls were in some horror film, right? or was that just the ride, or the music?

Copyright 2012 - Raving Reviews - All Rights Reserved

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"The Priest" and Vampire Moles

It's Beggars' Night and all the little Ghouls and Goblins are lurking about the neighborhood looking for a sugar fix. We were just flipping through the cable releases and came across a fairly recent horror flick called, The Priest. This film has a decent cast and seems have a fairly decent budget to work with but where it fall short is in the plot.

Well, that's either a cross on his face or he jammed his head into a really large wall socket

We're not sure, but we're guessing this story was based on some type of comic book - the dead giveaway up front was all the semi-animated drawings they used for the intro. The problem with that introduction was that it seemed to assume that we understood the back-story a lot better than we do; it's not clear if it is an alternative reality or ours. Anyway, there's this group of killer clerics called the priests - sort of a Jesuit meets Ninja club. In this story, there are no sexy vampires or hip teenage vampires or Counts running around in capes - instead we have these sort of super-sized naked moles with lots of teeth. These vampires don't have eyes and don't seem to be humanoid at all - in fact the big revelation towards the end is that we have this one former Priest (AKA Dr. McCoy from the Star Trek movie) who becomes the first human vampire (again making us wonder about a back story we seem to be missing). Now it does seem clear that there is a resemblance of these super-moles to the original Nosferatu vampire (shown below) who starred in perhaps the first true horror movie ever made.

This guy (we call him Nosey) could have been on the X-files, actually we think he was

This is the Vampire Mole. Ok, we definitely prefer Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, below

Where's the sexy silicon vampires when you need them?

Back to The Priest; this movie is a bit of a mix between sci-fi and horror but it never truly seems to make up its mind. It's a dark, somewhat dismal view of a post-apocalyptic future (which kind of goes without saying) brought about in this case by some type of all out human / vampire war. The characters are pretty thin, despite some serious staring and brooding by Paul Bettany and many looks of longing from Maggie Q. The tension between the Priests and the Church is assumed but never explained and the big plug for the sequel seemed to be reaching a bit too far. All in all we found "The Priest" disappointing and we recommend the producers of this film perform an act of contrition - let's say 3 "Hail Marys and 4 "Our Fathers." The motorcycles were cool though.

Copyright 2012 - Raving Reviews - All Rights Reserved

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The Ten Best TV Horror Shows of All time

As promised we're back with another one of our Top Ten Lists for Halloween - this one is the Top 10 Best Horror shows on TV. While television isn't know for creating a lot of Horror-focused programming, it has over the years produced some truly memorable shows that compete fairly well with the best Cinema has to offer (which is saying a lot considering the sheer number of Horror films created since the dawn of Cinema). Anyway, here's the list...


# 1 Best Horror Show of All Time on Television - American Horror Story:  Some may argue whether this program belongs on the top of the list considering it only just aired last year - but then again, have you all watched it? The first season boasted a tremendous all-star cast headed by Jessica Lange in what might be the single best role of her career. American Horror story treads across a variety of boundaries for television horror with its many inter-linked and somewhat depraved stories. Perhaps the most interesting thing about the show is its decision to pick a new location and cast every year. Season one is gone forever although we're left to believe that the entire cast of ghosts will remain in that house for enternity as the show shifts directions starting this November 30 (too bad it wasn't in time for Halloween).

This house collects,  families...

# 2 Best Horror Show of All Time on Television - Kolchak: The Night Stalker : This show doesn't seem as scary as it did back in the 1970's, yet it was a groundbreaking television event in that it was dedicated solely to the horror genre and brought that genre mainstream. House of Dark Shadows had been on TV a few years before but that was more like a Soap Opera - Night Stalker was pure prime time horror and Darren McGavin's hard-nosed Chicago reporter was perhaps the proto-type for (yet much funnier than) Fox Mulder.

Kolchak was definitely NOT part of the mainstream media

# 3 Best Horror Show of All Time on Television - Rod Serling's Night Gallery: This was a short-lived (mainly because Rod Serling passed away - well, actually the show was cancelled before he died but it was close) attempt to shift the Twilight Zone format to pure horror. So, it did somewhat preview what Night Stalker would do a few years later - but through the use of an unconnected anthology of horror tales. Just a note, we haven't included Twilight Zone or Outer Limits (either version of the two) because those shows weren't 100% focused on the horror genre, otherwise they would certainly merit inclusion here.

# 4 Best Horror Show of All Time on Television - Tales from the Crypt: This HBO series was in some ways like a resurrection of Night Gallery, just without Rod Serling. It marked the first time that the new cable channels began developing original horror content. We might as well throw in Tales from the Darkside here as well given the similarity in format (and the one interesting thing Darkside had was a connection to Zombie tycoon, George Romero). These shows made sure that there was horror to watch on TV across many periods when no horror shows appeared on prime time.

# 5 Best Horror Show of All Time on Television - Buffy, The Vampire Slayer: We have somewhat mixed feelings about Buffy, but without a doubt it helped to created a new interest in the horror genre on television and may very well be responsible for the current vampire trend that has paralyzed popular culture. The other thing we like about Buffy was the fact that it gave Joss Whedon his real start in Hollywood (Waterworld doesn't count, enough said).

# 6 Best Horror Show of All Time on Television -  The X-Files: Ok, so there were lot's of aliens, but Aliens are scary too right? It's impossible to have this list without having the X-files on it. This was the show that made a shrine to paranoia of all sorts - both the paranormal type and extraterrestrial. The truth is that we loved to be pulled into its twisted world and heck they even wrote songs about watching this show with the lights turned off during the 1990's. What more could you ask for?

We want to believe - that David D. didn't chase every girl on the X-Files set...

# 7 Best Horror Show of All Time on Television - House of Dark Shadows: This show was the one attempt ever of mixing horror with soap operas. Although, there are many people who think those two genres may be linked by default anyway. Despite that, this black and white show was compelling enough to warrant a film remake this year from director Tim Burton - no doubt this was one of his early influences.

The original Barney was neither purple nor lovable.

# 8 Best Horror Show of All Time on Television - The Walking Dead: Zombies of course represent a fairly narrow sliver of the overall Horror genre, yet the Walking Dead has been so superb that it requires a place on this list. It's a real testament to the makers of this show that they took a topic that seemed to have been done to death (pun alert) and breathed new life into it. We like it, we love it we want some more of it. Let's all go to the Waffle Hell - ooops... got carried away.

# 9 Best Horror Show of All Time on Television - Millennium: For the folks who couldn't get enough of X-files paranoia - the show spun off two series, The Lone Gunman and Millennium. Millennium took Y2K and added the X-Files with a bit of the Omen for good measure. It all came together to provide us with a profound sense of foreboding for the new millennium. Of course, by the time 2001 rolled around we had other things to worry about and pretty much forgot about this show. No matter how spooky Lance Henriksen looked, he just couldn't compete.

#10 Best Horror Show of All Time on Television - Scooby Doo: So, there may be some of you who find this choice surprising being a cartoon and all. But why? Think about it. Nearly every kid in America over a thirty period grew up watching Shaggy and Scooby chasing and being chased by spooks and monsters and solving mysteries - and more often than not - debunking the scary stuff and making us feel better. No other horror show on TV covered this much ground - it all starts with Scooby. Heck they even had they own soundtracks with such memorable hits as "Zoinks!" and "Those Meddlin' Kids" - we've still got old cassette tapes laying around. Time for a Scooby snack - gotta run 

Scooby taught us all how to cope with terror...

  

Copyright 2012 - Raving Reviews - All Rights Reserved

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Navigating the Cloud Atlas

Yesterday evening was dark, rainy and generally miserable out as the Eastern third of the United States was being pummeled by Hurricane Sandy - it seemed like an excellent time to go to the movies - so we did. We had been hearing quite a lot about Cloud Atlas; the feedback so far seemed to be sharply divided pro and con so we had to see it for ourselves (and yes there were multiple of us - we're not referring to one person in the third person). We didn't know what to expect and we understood why shortly after the movie began. We will also try to do our best not give away spoilers for this review.

An extended preview of Cloud Atlas

Cloud Atlas is an altogether different sort of movie. The only thing that comes close is an old flick from the 1970's based upon a Ray Bradbury short story, "The Illustrated Man." There was also a Robin Williams movie from the early 1990's called "Being Human." The idea behind all of these stories is that there may sometimes exist connections between people across lives and across the sea of time. The difference between those earlier versions of the core premise and Cloud Atlas is one of scale and execution. Cloud Atlas tells six stories concurrently, with many parts of the those six stories interwoven with the others. The main cast of this ambitious film were required to play as many as six different (albeit potentially related) characters. And the stories were interesting in how different they were from one another - we move from suspense, to melancholy, to comedy, to terror and to inspiration in turn. There does seem to be an underlying theme that binds most of these stories but we won't give it away - it is one of the pleasures of watching this tour de force.

So much of cinema these days is ordinary, formulaic and downright moronic - and we here do our best to ridicule bad cinema when ridicule is deserved. By the same token, we must also pay homage when we're in the presence of genius. Granted there are parts of the movie that overreach a bit and perhaps the makeup artists and Tom Hanks got a little carried away at times but overall this was a gripping 2 and a half hours of cinema. As the movie progressed we kept wondering when the intricate web of tales might collapse upon its own weight - we waited until the end and it never did. Some have argued in their critiques that the six individual stories were too shallow to stand on their own. We don't think the tales were shallow, but that's partly because they don't really stand on their own - in many cases one tale is a bookend to another and unless you can see it that way you might miss the whole point of the movie.

Hugh Grant as Cannibal Chieftain - he plays not one but 5 bad guys - you go Hugh!

We have to say that the most striking part of the film is that which deals with the character Sonmi-451 - it's pure science fiction and very reminiscent of the Matrix trilogy - not surprising considering that the same folks (the Wachowskis) who made the matrix created this film. It's striking both visually and because of the philosophical and political issues it chooses to tackle and it is a love story as well. There is something haunting and profound about it that we can't quite put our finger on. 

Somni-451 is a Fabricant who dreams of freedom - we think the 451 may be an homage to Ray Bradbury

There are going to be people who don't like this movie for its politics or its views on spirituality and the human condition or simply because they find it too long or complex to follow. For the rest of us though, this represents much of why we love movies in the first place. Cloud Atlas is about storytelling and that couldn't be clearer if you pay close attention to the first scene and the last of the movie. And it's not just about telling six compelling stories, it's how those stories are told - within a wider context of stories and cultural currents. This movie witnesses breakout performances by Hanks, Halle Barry, Jim Sturgess, Hugo Weaving and Hugh Grant. It featured an absolutely stunning performance by Jim Broadbent and a remarkable debut by Doona Bae who plays Somni-451. The cinematography throughout the film was first rate and contributed a lot to the overall impact. The movie even featured some very decent comedic performances but we won't give those away.

Cloud Atlas receives our best film of the year award (if we had one). It is highly doubtful anything else will come close, although we do have hopes for Life of Pi. If you enjoy cinema and not simply going to movies to watch things you expect like the Expendables - then you have to see this movie. Love, hate it - it doesn't matter - you should experience it. If you like stories, you'll like Cloud Atlas.

Copyright 2012 - Raving Reviews - All Rights Reserved

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