You may have noticed that we don't have ratings associated with any of our reviews and were probably wondering - why is it we don't have any stars, smiley faces, points or grades assessed to these movies and things we're critiquing? Well, we have an answer to your burning question - at least this one anyway.
We here at Raving Reviews do not believe in ratings. Why, you ask? You sure do ask a lot of questions, ok, here's our list as to why we don't believe in ratings:
- Ratings are subjective, art is subjective, subjectivity is subjective. (we're very objective in making these claims)
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| "That's 1 star out of 4 you miserable little punk "- oh the memories we can never erase... |
- Because we were rated in playgrounds as children and are emotionally scarred now.
- Because we don't believe in IQs and ratings are a lot like IQs.
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| Our IQ is none of your business, not that they're small - 'cause they're not - really |
- Because it's all political and we hate politics. (well, sometimes)
- Because we don't know more than you do and you don't more than us and this is a Democracy damn it ! (guess we do like politics after all).
- Because low ratings might cause otherwise nice people to starve or high ratings might allow jerky people to get rich just because they're good directors or actors, etc. (we're sure that some of Hollywood's worst films were created by its nicest residents).
- What if we had ratings in the Louvre? Would you give the Mona Lisa a 2.3 out 5 - or worse?
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| This is what would happen if the Louvre had ratings. |
- We believe in the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle of Motion Pictures; "When you measure a movie, you become part of that movie's marketing campaign."
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| If you're not sure about this, join the club |
- Because not everything is about logic you green-blooded, pointy-eared bastard!
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| I need a stress pill |
- Because we don't believe in standardized assessments and making everyone think the same way. We're not robots, we're human beings dammit! (refer to photo above).
- Because we reserve the right to change our minds and those pesky ratings might pin us down.
- Because it's hard to rate geniuses and even harder to rate morons.
We hope that answers all of your questions, we've got a survey for you to fill out now.
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