Bond Movie Titles

It's been a while since I've seen a good James Bond film. I heard somewhere that there is another one coming out soon, although I'm not altogether sure about that. The last one, Quantum of Solace wasn't fulfilling as far as Bond movies go. But 007 movies have always been kind of hit or miss; there have been quite a few different actors directors and producers involved over the years and not every combination works out right. I just looked it up on the web and it seems as though the next Bond movie is simply being referred to as Bond 23 because it is the 23rd movie in the series. The movie isn't due out until sometime in 2011, but even still it seems somehow depressing that there is no title associated with it yet. So I decided to go through a Bond title brainstorming session and I came up with the following tentative titles for our next Bond extravaganza:

1 - "Tomorrow Never Fries" the story of James Bond's struggle to reduce cholesterol levels through dietary and lifestyle changes.

2 - "Don't Never Say Never" the seldom heard story about James Bond's Summer school experience in a remedial grammar class.

3 - "Twilight's Last Gleaming" James Bond's resentment towards Twilight fans boils over in this nonstop action thriller.

4 - "Screwed Royale" The little heard story of James Bond’s experience investing his retirement funds with Bernie Madoff.

5 - "Dr., No More" and evil tale of James Bond ‘s most recent visit to the urologist.

6 - "Aluminum Finger" James Bond can't find a Halloween costume and decides to dress up as a robot by covering himself in Reynolds Wrap.

7 -"Leaf Raker" James Bond hires a sinister teenager to clean up his yard but instead of getting his leaves raked the punk takes the five dollars and TP's 007's backyard.

8 - "Quantum of Salad" As part of James Bond's new low-cholesterol diet he buys the salad shooter and things go horribly wrong.

9 - "My Bullets Never Lie" James Bond takes antidepressant medication which makes him a bit paranoid and he begins to question the loyalty of his Walther PP K.

10 - "Crap Always Floats" James Bond gets philosophical.



Bond Themes are often better than the movies, but the titles are the best part...


11 - "Blogging Is Forever" James Bond discovers Web 2.O.

12 - "Tweets Never Die" James Bond gets into twitter battle with Chad Ocho Cinco.

13 - "License to Sell Real Estate" James Bond moonlights in the residential real estate market only to see it crash and his hopes and dreams ruined. A vengeful Bond then goes after predatory lenders and exacts revenge.

14 - "A View to Your Neighbor's Pool" James Bond gets caught putting a WebCam on the outside of his house so that he can spy on the house next door.

15 - "Pink Eye" The really disgusting tale of how James Bond infected his left eye after picking his nose and sticking his fingers in it.

16 - "My Credit Cards Are Not Enough" A cautionary tale of when James Bond gets laid off, maxes out his cards and ends up having to cancel his cable TV.

17 - "Live and Let Fry" James Bond falls off the wagon, ditches his low cholesterol diet and hits the skids at McDonald's with supersized fries three times a day.

18 - "The Spy Who Dissed Me" After his credit cards are maxed out, James Bond gets tossed out of Best Buy when he can't pay the geek squad and insults them for not removing the adware from his laptop.

19 - "Diamonds Are Really Sparkly" James Bond lowers his standards a bit and begins dating Britney Spears.

20. - "Live and Let Exterminate" Sarah Palin fails to stop Obama's death panels leaving James Bond as the only possible savior for America's elderly.

There are so many possibilities for good title for the next Bond movie...


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