|This is where the airplane was invented|
Reason # 1 - There are too many birds and they will likely fly into you or want to mate with you.
Does this mean that everyone working for this airline is a Virgin?
Reason # 2 - It will anger the angels, who more or less have a monopoly on flying.
|This is a rare photo of Lance Armstrong's great-grandfather - who pioneered bike race cheating|
Reason # 3 - Once lifting off of the earth what's to stop you from floating to the moon?
|This is Lance Armstrong's grandfather following in the family tradition|
Reason # 4 - Because feathers are really itchy and probably none too sanitary.
|Don't touch that, it might have diseases !|
Reason # 5 - Because we'd look too much like vampires and no one will ever think they're cool or sexy.
|Dracula was an avid hang-glider hobbyist|
Reason # 6 - Because steam engines are just too damn heavy and would make too many clouds.
Reason # 7 - Look what happened to Icarus, duh...
Proof that men (and women too of course) weren't meant to fly
Reason # 9 - Because the occupation of Stewardess may set back women's rights for decades as airlines might force them to where sexy uniforms and bend over a lot.
Come fly with us as we wear these silly outfits
Reason #10 - Because someone might make a movie called Flight with Denzel Washington as a stoned, drunken airline pilot who flips his plane and drinks Bud while driving.
It's amazing how insightful these folks were back in 1902...
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