Why is Charlie Sheen so Crazy?

It's hard to lampoon someone who has gone to such lengths to humiliate themselves. This has become the year of Hollywood Celebrity meltdowns; Mel Gibson, Randy Quaid and now most spectacularly - Charlie Sheen.

We find it odd and disturbing when people we used to like go crazy, especially in situations where you'd think all would be well considering their career success and the lifestyles they enjoy. Americans enjoy the illusion of Hollywood success, perhaps because life is getting so much harder for the rest of us.

Charlie Sheen is both a drug and a weapon of mass destruction...

We will let you determine the extent of King Charlie's madness by sharing with just a small handful of his recent quotes:

• "Boom, crush. Night, losers. Winning, duh."
• "Duh! So, we're asking you now, what are some of your favorite lines that this warlock brain produced?"
• "For now, I'm just going to hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here, but I sure like the view."
• "Here's the good news. If I realize that I'm insane, then I'm okay with it. I'm not dangerous insane."
• "From my big beautiful warlock brain, welcome to 'Sheen's Korner' ... You're either in my corner, or you're with the trolls."
• "I don't have time for their judgement and their stupidity and you know they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and look at their loser lives and then they look at me and they say, 'I can't process it' well, no, you never will stop trying, just sit back and enjoy the show. You know?"
• "I have a different constitution. I have a different brain; I have a different heart; I got tiger blood, man."
• "I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies."
• "I have defeated this earthworm with my words. Imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists."
• "I'm dealing with fools and trolls and soft targets. It's just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee. I don't have time for these clowns."
• "Slash sat me down at his house and said, You've got to clean up your act. You know you've gone too far when Slash is saying, Look, you've got to get into rehab."

So he is obviously crazy - but that begs the question once more - why is he crazy. Many people claim it is drugs, others booze, others contend it is a combination of sibling parental rivalries and some believe it is because his family moved from Dayton, Ohio to Hollywood. We however have another theory - we think Charlie Sheen is living a dual life as actor and Middle Eastern potentate. We think Charlie Sheen is in fact, Muammar Gaddafi.

Charlie Sheen gets animated, literally...

We came to this conclusion after noticing strange similarities between Muammar Gaddafi and Charlie Sheen, including

• They both possess Tiger Blood.
• Both are surrounded by goddess bodyguards.
• Both are universally loved.
• Both are excellent public speakers.
• Both are moderately entertaining.
• Both seem to be stuck in the 1980's ("Reagan bombed my gnarly tent").
• Both are fond of oil.
• The gradual transformation of Charlies facial features into those seen on the 70 year old Gaddafi.

Some believe that Muammar Gaddafi & Charlie Sheen are in fact the same person

This theory explains a lot. Next up - Why is Randy Quaid is so crazy.


Copyright 2011, Raving Reviews™

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