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Showing posts with label Abraham Lincoln. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Abraham Lincoln. Show all posts

Lincoln doesn't Secede

We apologize for the titular pun, but the reality is that Stephen Spielberg's Lincoln has provided us with the second massive disappointment in a week or so. The other one was Skyfall. We weren't sure what we were expecting with Lincoln, but we certainly didn't get it. Spielberg managed to take the most fascinating character in American history during the most tumultuous period in our history and actually make a dull and inaccurate movie. How could this have happened?

The real... Abraham Lincoln
Here's our explanation as to what went wrong with this movie:

  1. Spielberg choose to focus on a tiny sliver of Civil War history (and an even smaller part of Lincoln's life) - the passage of the 13th amended to the constitution (e.g. the permanent abolition of slavery).
  2. The story of the passage of that amendment drifted from being a morality epic into a buffonish process study into the workings of the Congress of 1865. 
  3. The portrayal of Lincoln (while done very well by Daniel Day Lewis) is a continuation of slew of Lincoln myths - when taken together they greatly diminish the true historical character of Lincoln. Worse than that though, the film was sprinkled with awkward and often inappropriate humor, dedicating serious amounts of time to James Spader and his pals as wacky lobbyists intent on buying votes through patronage jobs. 
  4. There is almost no action in the film - this is the Civil War and no action, a 4 year period wherein we fought more than in every other war in history combined.
  5. The big issues were "wonkified" - at times it seemed as though we were watching the 1865 version of "Meet the Press." (BTW - this is how you take great and important issues and make them seem boring).


Daniel Day Lewis will get an Oscar nod for this role, but the script was lame

We were referring to the fact that this film perpetuated a number of Lincoln myths; here are the ones we're referring to:

  • That Lincoln was a relatively comic figure with all his homilies, jokes and such. Nothing was further from the truth - Lincoln was perhaps the most astute politician in this nation's history. While he did often use anecdotes to make his point, he wasn't all anecdotes - as depicted in this and many other films. If you want to know what Lincoln really sounded like, how he actually made his cases and crafted his rhetoric, there's ample examples to go by. Here's an example that is entirely consistent with Lincoln's true style of communication:
It is seventy-two years since the first inauguration of a President under our national Constitution. During that period fifteen different and greatly distinguished citizens, have, in succession, administered the executive branch of the government. They have conducted it through many perils; and, generally, with great success. Yet, with all this scope for [of] precedent, I now enter upon the same task for the brief constitutional term of four years, under great and peculiar difficulty. A disruption of the Federal Union, heretofore only menaced, is now formidably attempted.
I hold, that in contemplation of universal law, and of the Constitution, the Union of these States is perpetual. Perpetuity is implied, if not expressed, in the fundamental law of all national governments. It is safe to assert that no government proper, ever had a provision in its organic law for its own termination. Continue to execute all the express provisions of our national Constitution, and the Union will endure forever -- it being impossible to destroy it, except by some action not provided for in the instrument itself. (first inaugural address - 1861)
  • That Lincoln sounded like Mark Twain (e.g. whiny, squeaky). Lincoln was perhaps the most successful debater and best public speaker in our history -he did not speak with a crackly voice
  • That Lincoln expressed himself in simple terms more often than not. This is absolutely not true. No president in this nation's history was more eloquent
  • That Lincoln was a broken man before he was assassinated, burdened by remorse over the war and the burden of being married to Mary Todd. The story-line of this movie even seems to contradict itself on this point as we see Lincoln the politician fighting to win a crucial victory while looking beaten at the same time. The fact that Lincoln was out celebrating at a theater when he was shot ought to indicate that maybe he wasn't as bad off as everyone seems to have wanted him to be. He was in fact squarely focused on the remainder of his second term and reconstruction of the nation.
We don't need to humanize Lincoln in cinema through continued reliance on these misunderstandings. Lincoln's actions and words did more than enough to humanize him for us and the ages. The real story that begs to be told about Lincoln is how this man rose to greatness; how he stood by his principles both in terms of saving the union and ending slavery and almost single-handedly held the United States through its most severe test together through sheer force of will. This movie only gives us fleeting glimpses of that and despite several remarkable performances (by Lewis and Sally Field in particular) falls flat in helping to know the real Lincoln or better understand an America that was perfectly willing to destroy itself in a bloodbath of unimaginable proportions.   


The Civil War was no joking matter


Copyright 2012 - Raving Reviews - All Rights Reserved

The Abe Team

Four score and seven days ago a wave of movies was unleashed that shook this great nation to its core...
He's big, well pretty tall anyway. He's bad, killed more people than you can count, at least indirectly sort of. He's like 200 years old and he's back, with a vengeance, although actually he seemed like a mild mannered guy. He's Abe Lincoln and he's taking over Hollywood in 2012.


Last of the Mohicans meets the Civil War. An Irish Lincoln? No Comment

This year, Abraham Lincoln has been resurrected on the 150th anniversary of the Battle of Antietam, when he declared the Emancipation Proclamation and boy does he means business. He's out there killing Vampires, hunting down Zombies, whipping them dirty rebs and even moderating presidential debates. He's a one man killin' machine; facing down our national demons one by one - many of them literally. We haven't had a chance to see all the movies yet - we missed the Vampire Killer one while on vacation and the new Stephen Spielberg film hasn't been released yet. 


I'm going to send your sparkly behinds back  to Hell!

We've heard rumors that Lincoln will also appear in these upcoming features:
  • The Expendables 3 - As the"hatchet man," he'd take any crappy role for money
  • The Terminator 5 - as the "Abenator" - he's back
  • Friday the 13th (lost count) - as the Boy Scout Troop Leader - chopping wood and serial killers
  • Taken 3 - Liam Neeson's replacement - killing everything in sight, no plot needed
  • The A-Team - Bad Attitude "BA" Abe
  • The Silence of the Lambs remake - Abenal the Cannibal - he'll eat your liver with a side of cornbread...
  • The Avengers - Captain "Divided America" Abe 
  • The Seven Samurai - Abeosan
  • Star Wars - Abe Vader
  • Twilight Mooning - Six-pack Abes
  • Barney Miller - as Abe Vigoda, with a beard
  • The Godfather - as Abe Vigoda, with a beard
  • Scarface - "Say hello to my little ax"
  • Two & Half Men - Charlie Sheen's even crazier uncle
  • Abetar - need we say more...
  • Braveheart 2 - Back from the Dead - as McAbe
Yes indeed, Abe's agent has been working overtime lately. One movie we did get a chance to see (because it was on Netflix already) was Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies.This was an Asylum feature - in other words it was made for cheap as a knock off of another movie - in this case the Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter movie we haven't seen yet. But even given its less than promising origins, this film was somewhat entertaining in its own deranged fashion.We got to meet Lincoln's harlot mistress and love child, young Teddy Roosevelt as a zombie fighting adolescent and plenty of distorted historical episodes. The zombie killing action was about average; although watching Lincoln and Stonewall Jackson fighting on the same side was kind of interesting, even though it looked throughout the film as though Stonewall's beard would either fall off or he'd drop dead suddenly from anorexia.


What's 6'4', wears a stovepipe hat and kicks Zombie ass?

There are parts to this 2012 Lincoln phenomenon we simply can't explain; such as:
  1. Why are they picking all these foreign actors to play Lincoln?
  2. Why do all actors who play Lincoln sound just like Hal Holbrook's impression of Mark Twain? (kind of like why do movie Nazis always speak British English).
  3. Why didn't George Washington ever kill any Zombies or Vampires?
Perhaps we'll never explain it, but at least we can enjoy Lincoln's return to the limelight - although come to think of it, last time he was connected with the Theater, it didn't turn out so well.




Ok, this has nothing to do with Abe but it's a cool tune