The Velvet Elvis

We don't just review movies and television shows on this blog. On occasion, when we are so moved, we'll review just about anything. Last year we explored Las Vegas to find the World's Tallest Milkshake and today we are going to take you to the tiny town of Patagonia, Arizona to find some of the best pizza in the country. First of all, it's probably worth noting the peculiar cultural sub currents behind the name of the restaurant. While there may be a couple of Velvet Elvis paintings in the restaurant, it isn't by any means a shrine to the King. (nor are they're any velvet paintings of dogs playing poker, at least not that we remember).

We aren't the only ones who like their pizza...

So the implication of what a 'Velvet Elvis' represents is kind of cultural throwback, a sort of Hillbilly homage or perhaps Spencer's Gifts attempt at home decor. It is emblematic of a variety of eclectic tastes associated with 20th Century Americana and in the case of this restaurant it gives the owner license to create pizzas and an atmosphere a bit out of the ordinary.

How did we hear about it? Well, we were traveling/staying in the area and it was a word of mouth recommendation.  We didn't know how far away it was from where we were (or everything else for that matter) but we boldly trekked across the rugged Southwest Arizona landscape to find it. And it's about 30 miles from anywhere, but that doesn't mean the drive isn't interesting. Patagonia is nestled in the Mountains in he high Sonoran desert in between Sierra Vista and Nogales. It is very close to a little town called Elgin which happens to have some of the best wineries in Arizona and those wineries are surprisingly good.

Patagonia is also near a variety of nature-related destinations and is just twenty miles north of the Mexican border so expect to pass through Border Patrol checkpoints on your way back North (towards Tuscon or Interstate 10). The restaurant is also not too far from the tourist locations of Tombstone and Bisbee, Arizona (on route 80). Tombstone is a great tourist locale - lot's of locals dressed up like its the 1880's wearing guns (real ones) and Bisbee is a kind of alternative destination - part hippie hang out and part historic mining town. 

It's a pizza pie - fresh organic and fairly unique

The pizza itself at the Elvis is amazing - sporting a type of whole wheat crust that doesn't taste at all like whole wheat. There are a variety of gourmet pizza varieties to choose from - "Designer Pizzas" - including El Mariachi and Tuco's Revenge (not sure if that's a reference to Breaking Bad as we haven't visited the Elvis since 2009). They've also got a lot of interesting desserts, salads and more. So next time you're within 100 miles of the place check it out.

Tuco says, if I were still alive 'd be eating pizza at the Elvis

Read More

You Say you want a Hairvolution, well you know...

Back to the Halloween madness and the scariest thing in Hollywood next to Mad Mel's talking Beaver, Nicholas Cage's Hair. We'll start this post with a tribute to the many manifestations of Mr. Cage's follicles...

Man of a thousand wigs?

So let's talk a little bit about the enigmatic Mr. Cage. First of all for those who don't know, Nick Cage isn't his real name. His actual name is Nicholas Kim Copolla and he is the nephew of acclaimed Godfather director Francis Ford Copolla. He has been married to some interesting people as well (3 so far) including the daughter of Elvis Presley - who oddly enough he has imitated in nearly a dozen movie roles over the years. He is one of Hollywood's most prolific actors with several dozen credits to his name. Yet despite making millions he somehow managed not to pay his taxes and has now joined the Wesley Snipes 'back taxes are eating my lunch' club.

Remember when the Japanese had money - Nick's got the fever x3

None of the previous exposition seems to answer the burning question - why does Nick seem compelled to do something crazy with his hair in nearly every movie he stars in? We're going to take a time warp back to the Age of Aquarius to try to understand his motivation...

The 1970's was like the Hair Club for everyone...

So maybe, Nick's inner Hippie just wants to be free to express itself through hair - long, short, receding, greasy, curly, straight, hair hair, or something like that. Although there is a darker theory, one that allows us to include this post as part of our Halloween 2012 marathon - Nicholas Cage is an American Vampire...

This explains a lot, the hair, his not being worried about taxes and his Elvis southern accent fetish.

Read More

Photographing Fairies

Well, we really tried to come up with a better post title, but let's face it, this movie title simply can't be beaten. The movie we're talking about is called - yes - Photographing Fairies. And we found it on Netflix because just about the only movies they've got left in their library are obscure pics like this one from 1997. It stars a guy who seems to have a permanent sneer on his face (he could have been the British Elvis?) Toby Stephens. You might remember him from his villainous roles in the Bond flick, Die Another Day. He played the Korean guy who somehow turned himself into an Aryan supermodel. But enough about that. Hey speaking of Elvis, if you like great pizza you'll have to stop at the Velvet Elvis - located in the middle of nowhere Arizona - but we digress, back to the movie.

Here's the ultimate spoiler - the last scene of the movie where Toby meets his inner Fairy

One thing we can't fault this movie for is that it is indeed a story about a guy who photographs - yep you guessed it - fairies - and no this isn't about Gay Marriage. We're talking, honest God, winged mini-people flitting around in the English countryside just after World War 1. So anyway, this guy (the main character, we forgot his name because the fairies were more interesting) seems predisposed to pursuing strange hobbies after a career of photographing dead soldiers and a really bad vacation where he let his girlfriend fall into a bottomless crevasse somewhere at the top of Alps (we think we should have taken her to Florida instead).

At first he is skeptical, but then he convinced through a combination of photographic analysis and hallucinogenic drugs. The truth is out there - trust no one - he wants to believe, in fairies - Toby is the Fox Mulder of Fairies. But what are these little critters? Well, their FX budget seemed pretty limited - for example WWI ended being one scene with 4 dead guys and a bomb that dropped nearby. Anyway they didn't seem to have much more money for their computer graphics, so the winged tinker-bells looked a little bit like white smurfs or perhaps flying mini-zombies. We also get to meet Sir Aurthur Conan Doyle (of Sherlock Homes fame) as he seems to be Toby's go to expert on all things Fairy.

We have a theory about those wacky fairies - they're Extraterrestrials !

Ultimately though we learn very little about who or what these fairies really are from this movie and perhaps most disappointing of all, we don't even get to see any decent photographs of them. Right when we think we might get some pictures, Ben Kingsley, who sports a curly wig and the strangest workout clothes we've ever seen smashes up all the equipment before accidentally impaling himself on a tripod (luckily Toby insured all of the cameras). We're left with a tantalizing clue as something leaves Ben's mouth at the moment of his death, but it simply isn't clear whether its a Fairy escaping or terminally bad breath. Although they seem to be suggesting that the fairies are us - a disturbing conclusion considering the obvious innuendo we've been toying with throughout the post, we prefer our theory about British - ahem - all fairies.

The fairies of legend and the fairies at the heart of this relatively anemic plot are in fact an a capella group of extraterrestrials who look remarkably like Japanese teenage girls. Don't believe us, see the proof for yourself...

Actual Fairies captured in slow motion so we can see what they really look like

Read More