More Classic Than Classic

The other day someone asked me what my favorite movie of all time was, without hesitation I answered back “Blade Runner.” While I think Artificial Intelligence is a distant second, Blade Runner will likely continue to hold its first place ranking for the foreseeable future. So why do folks like me still obsess over this movie, after all it is now nearly 30 years old (that’s frightening to admit by the way as 1982 is the year I graduated High School)?

For me, this film represents everything that a movie can be – a synergy of art and entertainment, a visual banquet and a symphony. The story is simple, the characters are complex, the direction is flawless and the performances are memorable. This was the movie that introduced us to Edward James Olmos, Sean Young and Rutger Hauer; it gave Harrison Ford a depth that we hadn’t seen before. Blade Runner also provided us with what I still believe is the single best soundtrack in motion picture history, scored and performed by Vangelis. The soundtrack was so powerful that it literally became one with movie, narrating it in emotional overtones which transcended the music. I still listen to that soundtrack to this day and it never, ever gets old.


Both the music of Blade Runner & Sean Young were beyond compare...

Blade Runner sets a mood, builds its own universe and then draws you in bit by bit. Even though it is Science Fiction, it felt like a combination of reality + film noir. There are some scenes that simply stood out for being visually unforgettable. One example that comes to mind is where Dr. Tyrell opens the patio of his penthouse suite and we see the sun streaming in to fill the luxurious surroundings. Director Ridley Scott used a variation of the same scene nearly 20 years later when filming Gladiator. Between Ridley and his brother Tony, the brothers Scott have directed or produced the majority of my top ten film favorites of all-time. These guys instinctively understand cinema, what works, what looks good, what compels us to experience movies rather than merely watch them.

The story told in Blade Runner also plays an important role in making it a classic. Like the Matrix, Blade Runner tackles a fundamental philosophical paradox and makes us question what is humanity; what does it mean to be human, to be real. And it confronts this dilemma without ever referring it directly. In other words, it makes us think and read between the lines to grasp the full scope of what is actually unfolding before us. This is not to say that the Scott brothers don’t know how to employ action, they surely do; but they prefer the Mozart version over say Jerry Bruckheimer’s Salieri. In a Scott film, action can and does further the plot without turning it into roadkill. And the parting message of the film is as true today as it ever was, the final truth about one’s humanity is usually most apparent when we are closest to losing it.

The performances in Blade Runner were nothing short of iconic. From Leo, to Joanna Cassidy’s Snake Dancer, to the Eye Doctor to J.F. Sebastian and the intellectually cruel Dr. Tyrell – the characters simply came alive. Sean Young really stole the show though – her picture even ended up on the Vangelis “Themes” soundtrack cover. She took the film noir replicant temptress and made her believable – both vulnerable and passionate, one of the great female leads of all time. In this movie she harnessed Marilyn Monroe level star power, it’s too bad Hollywood never gave her chance to repeat this type of performance.


Here are some interesting deleted scenes from Blade Runner

At the Tyrell Corporation, we have a slogan; “More Human than Human.” Even the dialog from Blade Runner has become iconic, with White Zombie turning this line into what is now a classic hard rock song in the 1990’s. I don’t think anyone ever could or perhaps ever should make a sequel to this movie – it is almost inevitable that fans of the original would be disappointed.

A true classic can stand the test of time all on its own.



Copyright 2011, Raving Reviews™

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The WWF & Wall Street Villainy

Many years ago as part of short-lived and sometimes bizarre writing career I found myself working for a professional wrestler, one of the stars of the WWF in its heyday. Back in the late 1980’s and early 1990’s the World Wrestling Federation was a billion dollar enterprise and had become very mainstream. While I found myself a bit out of my element (I had never been to a wrestling match or NASCAR race in my life), I had to admit the experience was somewhat exhilarating. Professional Wrestling is the ultimate spectacle, sort of a combination morality play, political convention and circus all rolled up into one, larger than life event.

The whole thing came together quite unexpectedly, I met the wrestler through a family member and soon discovered that he was working in Japan. I struck up a conversation with him (he shall remain nameless, at least for now) and happened to mention that I was studying Japanese. The wrestler then offered to pay me to help develop an identity for him to use in Japan. So I had my assignment and began putting together names and personas that I thought might be appealing to the Japanese wrestling market (of course I had no idea what that was, but it was an interesting assignment).

Not long after the assignment began I heard back from the wrestler, he told me that he’d reconsidered going to Japan and wanted to revitalize his North American image instead with a new character. He had been used to playing the “good guy” and felt it was limiting his star or earning potential. He wanted to go rogue and I was just the guy to help him get there. I studied the WWF, where he worked, almost as though I were an anthropologist trying to understand both the spectacle and the culture which supported it. I soon realized that he was absolutely correct, in pro wrestling bad guys definitely have more fun. We started talking about the possibilities and he then asked me if I would help him with his WWF transformation and I immediately agreed.


These bad guys couldn't hold a candle to the Wall Street American Nightmare Team

In many ways, the exercise was like developing a character for a book or movie although here the plot wasn’t altogether that important and would remain fairly predictable. The fact that the plot never changes is rather cool though if you think about it because then everything revolves around character development. I gave him 100 notorious villains to choose from, some of them borrowed from common culture references, some of them quite funny and others more menacing. We worked together on that character for more than a year and at that time it became one of the most popular (or unpopular depending on your point of view) stars in the WWF. Working with pro wrestlers didn’t seem like a viable career path though so I moved on – never even got to meet Vince McMahon, but suddenly this week I was struck by an inspiration or urge perhaps. It seems to me that now is perfect time to create the ultimate pro wrestling villain.

The entire nation is restless and worried about war and economy; the nation is outraged at bailouts and scandal, the nation is ready for the best wrestling villains ever, so here they are, ready for the new year:

Character 1 – The Goldman’s Sacks: A shifty looking man in a banker’s suit with a rather large, gold colored sack which he fills up with taxpayer dollars. The Goldman Sack’s sometimes tag teams with Senator Scandal.

Character 2 – The Geithner: This character resembles the Hamburglar and steals lunch money from impoverished children, handing it over to foreign banks at 100 cents on the dollar.

Character 3 – Senator Scandal: What can we say, this guy has everything. He cheats on his wife, takes bribes and helps The Goldman Sacks scoop up all of the money while ordinary folks lose their homes and go bankrupt.

Character 4 – The Outsorcerer : He has magical powers and looks a little bit like a deranged Merlin, he can wave his wand and poof, American jobs disappear in a flash.

Character 5 – The Politician: Need we say more? He lures his victims in by pretending to be reasonable and then lowering the boom on them once they’ve bestowed their trust to him he crushes their hopes and dreams (and vital organs). He can tag team with any of the other characters.

Together these arch villains might make up the 4 1/2 horses asses of the apocalypse? What do you think, should I call up Vince McMahon?


Copyright 2009, Raving Reviews™

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Disaster Movie Montage – 2012

I watched 2012 over the holiday weekend and I must say it was a rather exhausting ordeal. I’m not sure how long the movie actually was but it felt as though I had personally experienced the end of the world. This was truly the disaster movie to end all disaster movies, or perhaps the disaster movie that copied all disaster movies?

I found myself tracking the various references to previous disaster blockbusters as well as specific examples of generic disaster movie clichés. My unofficial survey found references or allusions to the following films:

• The Day After Tomorrow – scientists predicting disaster, gotta love em.
• The Poseidon Adventure – boat tipping is fun!
• Deep Impact – flying lava instead of asteroids but the effects looked similar.
• Dante’s Peak / Volcano – nothing beats lava.
• Earthquake – done up much bigger of course.
• Titanic – without the love.
• The Bible – well, the bible is chocked full of disasters and a certain bible story is plagiarized here.


Hey, somebody left the tub running !

I also tracked the following disaster movie clichés:

• The impossible dog rescue.
• The annoying kids that get saved anyway.
• The poor bastard that discovers the danger but doesn’t make it.
• The last second, implausible escape by our hero – done about 7 times.
• The Redemption of Mankind.
• Lot’s of special effects which may or may not advance the plot.
• Lot’s of bad acting that definitely doesn’t do much to advance the plot.
• Comic relief that is thankfully killed off.

I’m sure there were more movie references and clichés that I missed, but you get the picture. The movie was not a non-stop rollercoaster ride like the Transformer series, but in this case the back story became nearly as exhausting as the special effects. The characters never really came into their own and overall most of the films performances were thoroughly forgettable. The only exception to this though was Woody Harrelson’s manic anti-government conspiracy blogger, but this portrayal was so over the top that it threatened to overwhelmed the planet’s largest volcanic eruption. I like Woody but this was more than a little hard to watch. John Cusack is a great actor but in 2012 he phoned his performance in – you’d think someone experiencing the end times would at least break a sweat but he seemed a little too cool throughout the movie to be believable.

It was the end of the world as I knew it, but after watching 2012 I wouldn’t recommend experiencing it again…

Copyright 2009, Raving Reviews™

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Stargate Universe Drops into a Black Hole

Being a long time fan of the Stargate saga, I found myself looking forward to their latest series, Stargate Universe all summer. The advanced previews looked visually stunning and the underlying concept was definitely intriguing - kind of Star Trek Voyager meets Stargate Atlantis. I recognized at least two fairly talented actors prominently positioned in these trailers, so I was thinking that perhaps the Stargate producers were going to take the brand to the next level. I still recall the first Stargate series fondly, which I think was probably the best one and was initially very pleased by how things were shaping up in the evolution of the overall saga plot line. So, I was all geared up and ready to go and get into this new televised adventure as Stargate was positioned to leave the galaxy and go where no wormhole had gone before.

The trouble began though with episode one of Stargate universe. There was a sort of darkness pervading both the characters and the cinematography of the premier. We soon discovered that the darkness became bleaker as the series progressed. And I'm not just speaking metaphorically here, the sets were actually dark; the characters were brooding, melancholy and miserable. Worst of all the, the plot lines as they began developing seemed unnaturally full of despair. As each episode passed, I became increasingly depressed and began to parallel the feelings of the characters on screen. Most of the characters on Stargate Universe are unhappy and miserable with one another. After only four episodes I began openly rooting for whatever disaster might present itself to help wipe out the crew. If only the ship would explode, if only the mysterious little alien monsters that they found we just finished them off, if only they would all just kill each other and get it over with. I don't believe I've ever watched a show before of any genre which had no characters at all with any redeeming values whatsoever. Stargate Universe is that show.


Send this show to the end of the Universe and please keep it there...

I started to become frightened that rooting for the demise of everyone on the show that I was watching might be considered somewhat psychologically disturbing, so I had to give up watching the show altogether after about six episodes. By that time however, I was confident in my prediction that none of the characters would become any more likable and that none of the plot lines would become any more interesting between that point and the end of season one. So the question I'm asking myself now, is how is it possible to create a show with no redeeming characteristics whatsoever? What were these folks thinking when they put this concept together?

Were these folks trying to put together another edgy science-fiction saga like BattleStar Galactica? In BattleStar there were few characters that weren't entirely likable (well maybe about 4), there were some dark sets and it also had an over-arching sense of doom hanging over everyone - yet in BattleStar there were a number of redeeming qualities as well. More importantly, there were a number of very well-defined characters who were clearly identified in the series premiere who we could follow throughout the course of the series. We had Capt. Adama, his son Apollo, Starbuck and even the bad guy was kind of interesting and those Cylons, wow that was interesting. All of those folks on Battlestar evolved throughout the series and even in the early episodes. The only character growth that’s occurred so far on Stargate Universe is that all of the characters got creepier.

When in doubt blame the writers; that’s what I always say. The writing team for Stargate Universe obviously jumped headfirst into a creative black hole. The plot lines were confused from day one, the motivations and behaviors all the characters seem wildly inappropriate and despite there being obvious talent amongst the actors they chose the main characters aren't given any likable traits whatsoever. For viewers to invest their time in a multi year series, there's got to be something for us and it. And what we’re looking for above everything else is a premise and a story that both entertains and inspires us. Unfortunately, Stargate Universe merely insulted our intelligence, especially when using the ridiculous "communication stones" gimmick which defies all scientific laws and seems to serve only as a plot crutch when they can't think of anything to do on that boring ship.

I tend to think that this latest installment in the Stargate saga will not destroy the brand and that like Star Trek’s rebounds it will be able to come back from this failure. However, Stargate Universe took a wrong turn when it left the galaxy and many of us hope that the series keeps flying away towards the edge of the universe at the highest possible velocity.


Copyright 2009, Raving Reviews™

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The Indomitable Johnny Drama

Every decade or so, Hollywood produces a truly remarkable character actor or character; someone that embodies the soul of the Everyman. An Everyman is an archetype, a conglomeration of all those characteristics we tend to see in ourselves. And in Everyman is not a celebrity, not a star and probably not even the greatest success, but the Everyman has depth.

I started watching Entourage in earnest for the first time this Summer. I may have seen it once or twice before while traveling, stuck in some hotel with nothing but HBO to watch - Entourage though requires multiple episodes to fully appreciate. I found myself becoming addicted to the series over the past few months now that I have HBO again at home and they are showing the entire series 12 episodes at a time on Saturday nights. While the main characters are likable enough, the show truly works as an entourage - in other words as an ensemble cast. The inside glimpses into how business gets done in Hollywood is another fascinating aspect of the show.

What really drew me into Entourage however was the character of Johnny Chase. At first his character seemed a bit like "cheap laughs," the butt for many jokes and perhaps an almost stereotypical comic foil. On the show Johnny Chase is known by his nickname Johnny Drama, the older brother of an up-and-coming movie star Vincent Chase. In a fascinating parallel between Hollywood fiction in Hollywood reality the character of Johnny Chase is played by actor Kevin Dillon who himself is the actor brother of what was once a major Hollywood movie star, Matt Dillon. Perhaps because of his background, Dillon is able to channel Johnny Drama’s character in a way that no other actor could. Dylan has impeccable comedic timing but also a definite flair for the dramatic living up to the name Johnny Drama more often than one might expect.


Occasionally thing do go Johnny's way...

So what is it that draws us to Johnny Drama instead of perhaps the show's star, Vincent Chase portrayed by Adrian Grenier? The character of Johnny Drama character is funny consistently across every episode, but as we watch the humor isn't always that funny or is funny at his expense. Most of what happens to Johnny drama is the result of his various flaws. This is why he's never quite made it in Hollywood despite being there much longer than his younger brother. He definitely has talent, but things don't always go his way and he has trouble coping with that. No matter what happens to him though, Johnny Drama never gives up on his dreams. In this he is like the rest of us, we can see that success just a little bit beyond our reach and we keep trying to get to it but never quite make it. Even though we never do achieve all the things that we dream of, the pursuit of those dreams is what defines us and our self-deprecating humor is what makes us human.

After a while it becomes hard not to root for Johnny drama. Perhaps if he can make it we can make it and even if we don't we can have some fun along the way. Entourage is definitely an adult show, something children and even young teens probably shouldn't watch, but for the older crowd entourage gives us clever plot lines and strong believable characters. At times their little Hollywood world seems perfectly real as each episode interjects a flurry of cameos from Hollywood insiders and faces from the news and prime time TV. Johnny Drama is a likable average Joe, much more likable than Joe the Plumber though, he is TV's everyman.


Copyright 2009, Raving Reviews™

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The Raving Reviews Taxonomy

Here at Raving Reviews we intend to write our reviews little differently. This site is not only dedicated to critiquing reviewing and rating movies it is also an outlet for cultural observation and humor. To give you an idea of what type of material you'll be seeing here will present a short guide or review taxonomy:

• Article category one - a rave: A Rave is not a particularly focused critique, instead it is a general expression of appreciation.

• Article category two - a riff: A Riff is not a critique at all but rather an opportunity to lampoon a truly bad piece of cinema or television. It is also an hommage to the comedic geniuses from Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Riff Trax and Cinematic Titanic.

• Article category three - a rant: A Rant is exactly what it sounds like, a rambling diatribe directed at anyone or anything that may be poignant, hilarious or just completely stupid.

• Article category four - a culturePop: A culture pop is a satirical or whimsical examination of some event or trend associated with popular culture.

• Article category five - a review: a review is the traditional form of cinematic or television critique. While we don't particularly put much stock into rating systems, we will share our opinions and make viewing recommendations.

• Article category six - a wax: this represents those times when we choose to wax philosophic about society, culture and the general downfall of mankind.

• Article category seven - a rage: this category represents the rare occasions when we become inexplicably outraged over some relatively trivial issue.

As we transition from the Raving Reviews Blog to the Raving Reviews online magazine we will expand this taxonomy and apply it to a wide spectrum of media and culture related categories.



Copyright 2009, Raving Reviews™

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Bond Movie Titles

It's been a while since I've seen a good James Bond film. I heard somewhere that there is another one coming out soon, although I'm not altogether sure about that. The last one, Quantum of Solace wasn't fulfilling as far as Bond movies go. But 007 movies have always been kind of hit or miss; there have been quite a few different actors directors and producers involved over the years and not every combination works out right. I just looked it up on the web and it seems as though the next Bond movie is simply being referred to as Bond 23 because it is the 23rd movie in the series. The movie isn't due out until sometime in 2011, but even still it seems somehow depressing that there is no title associated with it yet. So I decided to go through a Bond title brainstorming session and I came up with the following tentative titles for our next Bond extravaganza:

1 - "Tomorrow Never Fries" the story of James Bond's struggle to reduce cholesterol levels through dietary and lifestyle changes.

2 - "Don't Never Say Never" the seldom heard story about James Bond's Summer school experience in a remedial grammar class.

3 - "Twilight's Last Gleaming" James Bond's resentment towards Twilight fans boils over in this nonstop action thriller.

4 - "Screwed Royale" The little heard story of James Bond’s experience investing his retirement funds with Bernie Madoff.

5 - "Dr., No More" and evil tale of James Bond ‘s most recent visit to the urologist.

6 - "Aluminum Finger" James Bond can't find a Halloween costume and decides to dress up as a robot by covering himself in Reynolds Wrap.

7 -"Leaf Raker" James Bond hires a sinister teenager to clean up his yard but instead of getting his leaves raked the punk takes the five dollars and TP's 007's backyard.

8 - "Quantum of Salad" As part of James Bond's new low-cholesterol diet he buys the salad shooter and things go horribly wrong.

9 - "My Bullets Never Lie" James Bond takes antidepressant medication which makes him a bit paranoid and he begins to question the loyalty of his Walther PP K.

10 - "Crap Always Floats" James Bond gets philosophical.



Bond Themes are often better than the movies, but the titles are the best part...


11 - "Blogging Is Forever" James Bond discovers Web 2.O.

12 - "Tweets Never Die" James Bond gets into twitter battle with Chad Ocho Cinco.

13 - "License to Sell Real Estate" James Bond moonlights in the residential real estate market only to see it crash and his hopes and dreams ruined. A vengeful Bond then goes after predatory lenders and exacts revenge.

14 - "A View to Your Neighbor's Pool" James Bond gets caught putting a WebCam on the outside of his house so that he can spy on the house next door.

15 - "Pink Eye" The really disgusting tale of how James Bond infected his left eye after picking his nose and sticking his fingers in it.

16 - "My Credit Cards Are Not Enough" A cautionary tale of when James Bond gets laid off, maxes out his cards and ends up having to cancel his cable TV.

17 - "Live and Let Fry" James Bond falls off the wagon, ditches his low cholesterol diet and hits the skids at McDonald's with supersized fries three times a day.

18 - "The Spy Who Dissed Me" After his credit cards are maxed out, James Bond gets tossed out of Best Buy when he can't pay the geek squad and insults them for not removing the adware from his laptop.

19 - "Diamonds Are Really Sparkly" James Bond lowers his standards a bit and begins dating Britney Spears.

20. - "Live and Let Exterminate" Sarah Palin fails to stop Obama's death panels leaving James Bond as the only possible savior for America's elderly.

There are so many possibilities for good title for the next Bond movie...


Copyright 2009, Ravings Reviews

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Watching "Up" Brought Me Down

Well, I finally got around to buying a DVD of the Disney movie “up.” It certainly wasn't what I was expecting. In fact, I guess you could say there's something to depress every age group and this film. The movie starts off well enough, with the story of a boy and a girl he meets who both share a sense of adventure. At this stage of the movie, things are pretty optimistic. It seems as though we've entered the beginning of some magical adventure which may lead our two main characters to some lost faraway exotic location in search of their childhood hero. That hero is an explorer who travels to deepest darkest South America in a magnificent dirigible seeking to find the rarest of all creatures.

Very quickly, we begin to discover that things aren’t going to go as expected. Time passes and our protagonists begin to age very quickly. Before we know it, the story that we expected seems as though it can never occur because the two main characters become senior citizens in the first 10 minutes of the movie. As if that wasn't bad enough, every time it seems as though they might have had a chance for adventure they have to raid the piggy bank for funds and never seem to have the money to realize their dream. Then of course one of the two protagonists now a wife an old woman, dies. Once she's gone, we realize the idyllic home and environment that they had been living in is now surrounded by an urban jungle. Evil developers wearing ‘men in black’ shades are trying to tear down the home where there was at least some happiness if not any adventure.



10 foot tall Blue Birds and Talking Dogs couldn't save this movie

The main character in the movie is portrayed by Ed Asner, who must be at least as old as the character he was playing on film. At this stage in his life, the main character has lost his wife, had zero adventures and has become a bit of a curmudgeon. Ed Asner has always been adept at playing curmudgeons, even when he wasn't very old. Once I realized who the actor was supplying the voice for the animated character, I couldn't get the image out of my mind of the character he played in “JFK.” I was expecting the animated old curmudgeon to start drinking and talking about Operation Mongoose and then pistol whip the other characters. I think that would have been more interesting than the plot line that was actually followed.

Without giving too much away, the curmudgeon and a stowaway Boy Scout escape the urban jungle utilizing homegrown dirigible technology (shades of Balloon Boy) and head to that faraway fantasy adventure land known as Venezuela. The animators apparently spent an incredible amount of time and effort to accurately recreate the environment in Venezuela where the actual adventure finally takes place. It all centers around a place called Angel falls. And of course I know all about it now because I watched the special feature that came with the DVD showing how all the animators and filmmakers trekked around the jungles near Angel falls so that they could become inspired by the natural landscape and incorporate that realism into their animations. The one thought that kept going through my head though while I was watching that, was that once they had visited the place they would likely be a few of the only several hundred people on the planet who actually knew what the place looked like. So it begs the question, why the big focus on accuracy in depicting Angel falls, and why the relative lack of focus on the plot line?

As an animation production, the film is technically very rich and generally pleasant to watch. However the hallmark of many recent Disney and Pixar films has not been the excellent animation per se, it's been the ever-improving storylines associated with animated movies. Aspects of this movie's plot seemed disjointed, hard to follow and not particularly appealing. The plot line revolving the movie's villain who at one point was the movie's hero is particularly confusing and disappointing. Populating the movie with talking dogs didn't seem to further the plot line any and made me wonder whether or not somebody had pitched this as pandering recognition to an audience primarily populated by children who might find talking dogs cool.

All in all, I wouldn't recommend this DVD. The conclusion of the movie wasn't particularly satisfying and for all you women out there the only real female character got killed off in the first 15 minutes, so no matter what happened afterwards the movie remains depressing from that perspective. The one thing I'm inspired to do after watching this film is to make sure I go out and live my life a little more before all the people I love are dead and I'm an invalid.


Copyright 2009, Raving Reviews™ .

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