Skyfell

While Skyfall won't be the worst film of the year, (The Campaign and Flight are vying for that title), it is certainly this year's biggest disappointment.  We're not sure what happened with this movie; perhaps it was MGM going in and out of bankruptcy or maybe they just really weren't sure what they wanted to do with the movie since it took them so long to work the script. In any case, the end result isn't all that fun to watch. Please keep in mind that we are big James Bond fans so having to say that this film stunk is a bit painful for us - sort of like getting shot off of a moving train by Moneypenney and falling 200 feet into ravine.

Worst Bond beard ever, or is it the first and only Bond beard? Here we see James leaving rehab

  We have paid tribute to Bond in anticipation of this movie for several years, here's the proof:

• The Hunt for Rogue October - 2010
• Possible Bond Movie Titles - 2009

So what do we have against the Bond 23 turned Skyfall movie; here's our list:

• Worst Bond villain since Christopher Walken in "View to a Kill." Javier Bardem, one of the world's greatest actors, is reduced to an effeminate goofball with a mommy complex. Whatever happened to that guy from No Country for Old Men?

Javier just looks and acts silly, not too scary though despite the later FX

• A complete lack of plot. The storyline makes little sense and just gets worse as it goes.

• Gratuitous introduction of new characters for future episodes. At times the entire movie just seemed like a job interview for the new Q & M as well as Moneypenney - 2 of the 3 shouldn't have been hired.

Let's shoot your girlfriends  for target practice, Mr. Bond

• Kudos to the new Q for inventing a miniature radio / homing device that looks like a 1960's transistor radio and is 1000x bigger than it should be this day in age. Oh, and plugging the infected computer from the master hacker into the network was pure genius.

• Daniel Craig gave what has to be the most apathetic Bond performance ever - it was kind of like Obama in the first debate. You could see him thinking "I really don't want to be here and I'm sick of this job."

• Bond seems to let everyone get killed in this movie - good guys, bad guys it makes little difference and his attitude towards his chicks is getting worse. At least before when they got killed for sleeping with him he seemed to give a crap - not anymore.

• The pacing of the film was very uneven - after a promising chase scene to begin with we're dropped into a lot of slow moving and somewhat dull side-plots until the end which just turns out to be an excuse to do a makeover on James Bond family estate in Scotland. 

• The Komodo Dragons can't compare with sharks or piranhas. 

• With the exception of the opening sequence, the special effects were not up to par. And speaking of that opening sequence we still think Adele's tune is way too depressing to start a movie - it would have been appropriate for the ending though.

• There wasn't one decent one liner in the whole movie and even if there was the way Daniel Craig was delivering them you might not have heard it anyway - he was kind of mumbling through parts of the film. 

• Most awkward moment - the super-creepy Bardem begins feeling up James Bond and James implies he's already gay. We really didn't need to know that although it might explain his loss of interest in what happens to his girlfriends.

• Most Bizarre Moment - James drinking Tequila with a scorpion on his hand. 

We certainly hope that Skyfall doesn't kill the Bond franchise, it's survived some pretty serious stinkers before and now even the bankruptcy of the studio that owns the rights. There is still hope for future Bond adventures - although there may need to be more casting changes and the creative team responsible for this movie ought to be entirely replaced. It must be noted that Judi Dench, who at age 77, should have retired as M a while ago, put in the by far best performance of the movie. We'll miss you, M.

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