The Abe Team

Four score and seven days ago a wave of movies was unleashed that shook this great nation to its core...
He's big, well pretty tall anyway. He's bad, killed more people than you can count, at least indirectly sort of. He's like 200 years old and he's back, with a vengeance, although actually he seemed like a mild mannered guy. He's Abe Lincoln and he's taking over Hollywood in 2012.

Last of the Mohicans meets the Civil War. An Irish Lincoln? No Comment

This year, Abraham Lincoln has been resurrected on the 150th anniversary of the Battle of Antietam, when he declared the Emancipation Proclamation and boy does he means business. He's out there killing Vampires, hunting down Zombies, whipping them dirty rebs and even moderating presidential debates. He's a one man killin' machine; facing down our national demons one by one - many of them literally. We haven't had a chance to see all the movies yet - we missed the Vampire Killer one while on vacation and the new Stephen Spielberg film hasn't been released yet. 

I'm going to send your sparkly behinds back  to Hell!

We've heard rumors that Lincoln will also appear in these upcoming features:

• The Expendables 3 - As the"hatchet man," he'd take any crappy role for money
• The Terminator 5 - as the "Abenator" - he's back
• Friday the 13th (lost count) - as the Boy Scout Troop Leader - chopping wood and serial killers
• Taken 3 - Liam Neeson's replacement - killing everything in sight, no plot needed
• The A-Team - Bad Attitude "BA" Abe
• The Silence of the Lambs remake - Abenal the Cannibal - he'll eat your liver with a side of cornbread...
• The Avengers - Captain "Divided America" Abe 
• The Seven Samurai - Abeosan
• Star Wars - Abe Vader
• Twilight Mooning - Six-pack Abes
• Barney Miller - as Abe Vigoda, with a beard
• The Godfather - as Abe Vigoda, with a beard
• Scarface - "Say hello to my little ax"
• Two & Half Men - Charlie Sheen's even crazier uncle
• Abetar - need we say more...
• Braveheart 2 - Back from the Dead - as McAbe

Yes indeed, Abe's agent has been working overtime lately. One movie we did get a chance to see (because it was on Netflix already) was Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies.This was an Asylum feature - in other words it was made for cheap as a knock off of another movie - in this case the Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter movie we haven't seen yet. But even given its less than promising origins, this film was somewhat entertaining in its own deranged fashion.We got to meet Lincoln's harlot mistress and love child, young Teddy Roosevelt as a zombie fighting adolescent and plenty of distorted historical episodes. The zombie killing action was about average; although watching Lincoln and Stonewall Jackson fighting on the same side was kind of interesting, even though it looked throughout the film as though Stonewall's beard would either fall off or he'd drop dead suddenly from anorexia.

What's 6'4', wears a stovepipe hat and kicks Zombie ass?

There are parts to this 2012 Lincoln phenomenon we simply can't explain; such as:

1. Why are they picking all these foreign actors to play Lincoln?
2. Why do all actors who play Lincoln sound just like Hal Holbrook's impression of Mark Twain? (kind of like why do movie Nazis always speak British English).
3. Why didn't George Washington ever kill any Zombies or Vampires?

Perhaps we'll never explain it, but at least we can enjoy Lincoln's return to the limelight - although come to think of it, last time he was connected with the Theater, it didn't turn out so well.

Ok, this has nothing to do with Abe but it's a cool tune

Read More

Photographing Fairies

Well, we really tried to come up with a better post title, but let's face it, this movie title simply can't be beaten. The movie we're talking about is called - yes - Photographing Fairies. And we found it on Netflix because just about the only movies they've got left in their library are obscure pics like this one from 1997. It stars a guy who seems to have a permanent sneer on his face (he could have been the British Elvis?) Toby Stephens. You might remember him from his villainous roles in the Bond flick, Die Another Day. He played the Korean guy who somehow turned himself into an Aryan supermodel. But enough about that. Hey speaking of Elvis, if you like great pizza you'll have to stop at the Velvet Elvis - located in the middle of nowhere Arizona - but we digress, back to the movie.

Here's the ultimate spoiler - the last scene of the movie where Toby meets his inner Fairy

One thing we can't fault this movie for is that it is indeed a story about a guy who photographs - yep you guessed it - fairies - and no this isn't about Gay Marriage. We're talking, honest God, winged mini-people flitting around in the English countryside just after World War 1. So anyway, this guy (the main character, we forgot his name because the fairies were more interesting) seems predisposed to pursuing strange hobbies after a career of photographing dead soldiers and a really bad vacation where he let his girlfriend fall into a bottomless crevasse somewhere at the top of Alps (we think we should have taken her to Florida instead).

At first he is skeptical, but then he convinced through a combination of photographic analysis and hallucinogenic drugs. The truth is out there - trust no one - he wants to believe, in fairies - Toby is the Fox Mulder of Fairies. But what are these little critters? Well, their FX budget seemed pretty limited - for example WWI ended being one scene with 4 dead guys and a bomb that dropped nearby. Anyway they didn't seem to have much more money for their computer graphics, so the winged tinker-bells looked a little bit like white smurfs or perhaps flying mini-zombies. We also get to meet Sir Aurthur Conan Doyle (of Sherlock Homes fame) as he seems to be Toby's go to expert on all things Fairy.

We have a theory about those wacky fairies - they're Extraterrestrials !

Ultimately though we learn very little about who or what these fairies really are from this movie and perhaps most disappointing of all, we don't even get to see any decent photographs of them. Right when we think we might get some pictures, Ben Kingsley, who sports a curly wig and the strangest workout clothes we've ever seen smashes up all the equipment before accidentally impaling himself on a tripod (luckily Toby insured all of the cameras). We're left with a tantalizing clue as something leaves Ben's mouth at the moment of his death, but it simply isn't clear whether its a Fairy escaping or terminally bad breath. Although they seem to be suggesting that the fairies are us - a disturbing conclusion considering the obvious innuendo we've been toying with throughout the post, we prefer our theory about British - ahem - all fairies.

The fairies of legend and the fairies at the heart of this relatively anemic plot are in fact an a capella group of extraterrestrials who look remarkably like Japanese teenage girls. Don't believe us, see the proof for yourself...

Actual Fairies captured in slow motion so we can see what they really look like

Read More

The Movies That Could Have Been

It's a well-known fact that in Hollywood that for every movie that gets made, 1000 other projects are waiting for that big break to transition from paper to the silver screen (or LCD depending upon what audience it gets made for).  We've uncovered a treasure trove of "lost projects" and have selected a number of the best ones that never made it to production...

Getting whipped by Julia takes on new meaning in this thriller

1 - "A Recipe for Disaster" - Julia Child as an action hero in this Cold-War drama about a chef who infiltrates the Kremlin to serve the Soviets their just desserts.

2 - "They Eat Horses, Don't They" - The inside story of a Pet Food Tycoon and his back-biting, mangy family.

3 - "Damn the Speedos" - The secret story of how Mark Spitz trained Seal Team 6. 

4 - "The People who didn't know Anything" - The story of how a lot of really stupid people took over American politics and invented the Negative Ad.

5 - "Bad to the Bones" - Former rockers with osteoporosis delicately battle crime, making sure not to get fractured along the way.

6 - "Anatomy 101" - Who needs CSI when this new series brings non-stop dissections, drilling and witty humor - at the cadavers' expense!

7 - "Zumba - the Forbidden Exercise" - need we say more.

The Rhythm is going to get you - in trouble...

8 - "299" - These were the guys from Crete who got lost and never made it to that big battle against the Persians...

9 - "Binder Babes" - What happens when you collect binders full of women, nothing good we suspect.

 10 - "Hoodini" - Wearing hoodies can make some people disappear.

11 - "Pump it Up - The Lance Armstrong Story" - Illegal drugs, roadside blood transfusions and lot's of spirit and gritty determination made him the champion he is - er - used to be.

12 - "The Welsh Evasion" - The little known story of the handful of inept Welsh rockers who completely missed out on the birth on modern rock and roll.

13 - "They Call me Candy" - How the tough-talking lady kicked butt and took numbers at the 2012 presidential debate.

14 - "Some like Hotter" - The inside story as to why many people have inexplicably denied the reality of global warming.

Gosh, we miss this guy...

15 - "The Laying Dead" - This is the follow-up series to Anatomy 101.

16 - "Off Base" - How the Red's managed to screw up the 2012 post-season.

17 - "Googlemania" - The story about how the Googles became rock legends in Britain during the 1960's - with such hits as - Googlution, Hey Google and All you need is Google. 

18 - "Saturday the 14th" - A documentary - day in the life - as a psycho serial killer unwinds after a hard day on the job.

19 - "The Bobbit" - What happens when an angry female hobbit goes crazy and hacks off her husband's wee member. (* 1990's insider joke alert).

And the list goes on - we will bring more of these lost gems from time to time as our celebration of the entertainment industry continues here on Raving Reviews.

Read More

Looper Dooper?

It had all of the elements of possible science fiction classic; Bruce Willis, time travel, Philip K. Dick and yet somehow this movie failed to achieve its desired paradox. But before we delve into the movie itself we must describe the strange dimension we were transported to when our local theater decided to sell beer and wine at the concession stand. Never before (at least not since the days when people used to sneak in their own refreshments to drive-ins) were we exposed to interactive cinema like this. 

Let's all go to the Lobby - and get plowed

So, during the film, there were these two guys behind us - we knew they had been drinking because at several points during the movie they discussed whether or not to go back out and buy more wine. They decided to engage in an interactive dialog between themselves and the movie. The first comments ranged from - "I can't follow this, what's happening here" and quickly degenerated into - "Oh my god this is the worst movie ever - what the hell is going on - how could anyone understand this - it's impossible." This went for nearly the entire film.

Now we could spend a lot of time dissecting the movie, but why bother, we'll never remember it as well we will as the theater dialog about it. Let's do a quick overview on Looper anyway:

• The near-future looks really depressing
• The distant-future looks worse
• Bruce Willis and Robin really don't look much alike
• Bruce Willis with long stringy dark hair is just not something you want to see (5 seconds onscreen was 4 seconds too long)
• That little kid really needed a time-out (no time travel puns intended)
• There was lots of gratuitous violence towards the end - but where were the laser guns ???!!!!

 I'm not working for Batman one minute longer!

Anyway, enough of that, what we really need to address is time travel and paradoxes. This is what seemed to be troubling our intoxicated fellow movie-goers. The basic premise is this; if you change something in the present it effects not just the future but any future travelers who happen to be visiting your own temporal neighborhood. Now just to be clear for all you doubters out there - time travel is in fact possible - we all do it every day - only it's one way - forward. This movie assumes that there is a device which looks like a cross between an iron lung and a vacuum cleaner that can somehow send people back in time (the other way). To help better understand how this might be possible we've brought together the world's two foremost experts on time travel and physics, Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking...

 Time Travel is simple, don't believe us, just ask Einstein and Hawking

So, now it's all perfectly clear now right? Still don't get it. We'll this isn't a science blog, but we will provide a checklist to determine whether or not you should attempt to watch complex, alternate reality and time travel movies.

The Sci-Fi IQ Test:

• Jean Luc Picard is the guy who directed The Fifth Element. (T or F)
• If you go back in time and kill your grandfather the only thing you miss out on is Christmas presents. (T or F)
• In the show Sliders, there was an alternate Universe where the Bengals actually made it to the Superbowl and won! (T or F)
• In the original planet of the Apes, the three guys and 1 girl were supposed to repopulate the human race (T o F)  and BTW who came up with the math on that?
• In the Matrix, it was the Machines who scorched the sky or was that the Terminator series? 
• How many levels of dream reality (Inception) can you sink into without getting lost?

Does all of this seem too complicated, perhaps you should just head to the concession stand and get liquored up.

Read More

Colombiana es muy Estupido

Hey there, we're back, after nearly a year-long break. We'll provide no explanation for that and dive right into some new raving reviews. Last night, while watching Netflix we came across Jean-Luc's (Besson's) Colombiana - a movie with nearly no redeeming attributes - perhaps explaining its so-so performance at the box office (losing about $4,000,000).

 

What I want to be when I grow up - a female assassin, by Zoe Saldana 

The story goes something like this - cute, innocent nine-year old Cataleya's parents are killed for no reason other than that they are doubling dealing hit people who betrayed their drug lord boss. Inexplicably, the Drug Lord fails to appreciate that folks need to make a living and that killing people and selling out drug lords can be really profitable. The seemingly helpless waif stabs the head goon from the hit-squad and proceeds to outrun the rest of the crew on a chase through Bogota (which looks a lot like Mexico) doing roof jumping scenes that would make James Bond proud and sewer diving al la Harrison Ford in Fugitive.

She escapes to the American embassy where she proceeds to barf up what looks like an SD card (full of Drug Lord secrets) which somehow gets inserted into a floppy disk. This was supposed to be 1992, SD cards weren't invented yet but who cares right? She couldn't have swallowed a floppy disk. So, naturally after inventing the future and bringing down Colombia's biggest cartel she is whisked away to the US where she somehow magically manages to escape from the airport bathroom and find her way to Chicago. She ends up in Chicago because that's where her uncle lives  (a real nice guy who works in the family trade) and yet no one ever thinks to look for her there.

Fast forward to 2011 or so where we witness the all-grown up and painfully skinny Cataleya infiltrate a jailhouse to kill some really creepy looking guy for apparently no reason. Of course, as an assassin, she's supposed to be smart and deadly - that's why she can do all these amazing things. Her uncle made a big point out of telling her (al la Mel Gibson in Braveheart) that warriors or killers think with their head - he does this while shooting up a stranger's car in broad daylight in front of the school where she's just enrolled with dozens of witnesses nearby.

Note the mysterious flower and the fact that Juan Valdez looks like every Drug Lord ever portrayed in the movies

So anyway, Cataleya, named after an exotic flower - they reminder of this about 57 times - sports her slinky body leotard for hits because as we know wearing a lot of clothes makes it harder to fit into air ducts, sewers and other tight spaces. Cataleya is a very artistic girl as she likes to paint a picture of the flower she is named after on all of her dozens of victims. This is supposedly to ensure that the drug lords who killed her parents come and find her so she can ensnare them in her elaborate trap. Of course it turns out she really doesn't have a trap and gets the rest of her family of killers killed. Did we say that this movie was muy estupidia - si...

Anyway, on the periphery this cinematic misfire there are lousy performances and oddities in all directions. We've got Callum Blue playing a CIA operative who can't seem to master his American accent, we've got that guy from Jericho playing an FBI agent with the same problem. We've got a Chicago police Sargent who can barely seem to speak English at all. We've got locations in Chicago that look oddly like Mexico. We've got a location in New Orleans that looks just like Miami. We've got Cataleya confessing to the FBI that she wanted to be one of the good guys despite the fact she spent her life with killers training in the family business. We've a got big fat guy wearing funny underwear getting eaten by sharks. We've got a movie that associates everything in Colombia with drugs and killers yet seems not to know anything about the place they're maligning.

The only positive thing we might say about this movie is that it isn't as stupid as Taken or Taken 2 - a film made by folks involved with producing Colombiana.

Read More

Firefly Still Burns Bright

It's amazing that a show that only ran for 14 episodes is still relevant and is still making news, but Firefly isn't your typical series. This year the Science Channel relaunched Firefly almost as if it were a new show and remarkably it worked - this was nearly 8 years after it was initially aired on Fox. The short-lived series has become a bit of a cult favorite with many and that devotion led to a 2005 theatrical release that helped tie together some of the unresolved plot lines left dangling at the end of the cancelled first season.

Firefly remains a truly original series concept

The movie version of the series, Serenity, while not a huge commercial success raked in over $40 million which allowed to break even but didn't cross over much beyond its loyal fan base. Perhaps if the series had lasted a little the results would have been different - in terms of quality the film far surpassed the majority of Star Trek Theatrical releases (both in terms of storyline and overall entertainment value).

Although there was and still is a lot of discussion about the interest that was generated because Firefly being linked to Joss Whedon and his previous projects (notably Buff the Vampire Slayer) for us that simply wasn't a factor. When we first watched the series in 2002 we'd never heard of Joss and we couldn't stand "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." Firefly for us and we believe in all contexts stands uniquely on its own. The show successfully created a new universe which could still continue to be populated with new plot-lines if anyone decides to give it another go.

So, what is about Firefly that makes it so special. We'll try to put into perspective:

1. The characters were not just unique, they were memorable. This goes for nearly the entire cast which is a fairly remarkable achievement.
2. The show's premise was cool. It's a bit of a civil war theme juxtaposed into space several hundred years hence. We've got a ship full of renegades / pirates fighting to survive in a galaxy ruled by an oppressive "Alliance" with new frontiers and dark dangers lurking out there - just beyond reach.
   
3. The Genre Mash-up was just fun to watch. We love Westerns, We love Sci-Fi - why not combine them? Works for us.
4. The quality of the show's dialog - the scripts. We love good writing.
   
5. The musical score - when someone does it right - it makes a huge difference in helping to create the ambiance for a show. The music for Firefly helped solidify the cultural connection of that is the Space Cowboy.
   

Good writing is fun to watch - sounds odd but it's true

We have to ask ourselves again - why are all the most interesting, innovative shows getting cancelled before they have a chance to really bloom? What's at work here - let's take a look at the possible causes:

• The current ratings system isn't necessarily a good predictor of long-term ratings or marketability. A loyal fanbase can bring profit over a much longer timeframe than one season - yet decisions are based on what happens on in the that season without taking into account other mitigating factors.
  

• People are too unsophisticated to appreciate something novel - naaay - we're not buying that.
  

• The networks and studios are risk averse. It doesn't take much to scare them off of an interesting project. These folks tend to be more comfortable running with show formulas they're familiar with. When something new rolls in it is always scary.
  

The movie version was awesome - what more can we say?

Mr. Whedon has gone on to do some very interesting things since Firefly including the recent Thor movie and the upcoming Marvel Avengers flick, but perhaps he'll give Firefly another shot sometime later on - we certainly hope so.

We'd also like to see more of the cast in other projects, particular the actress who played Inara (Morena Baccarin), as well as Nathan Fillion. Christina Hendricks who had a recurring role on Firefly hit it big on AMC's Madmen and Summer Glau went to star in the Sarah Conner Chronicles.

Check out our complete YouTube playlist for Firefly on the Raving Reviews Channel...


Copyright 2011, Raving Reviews™

Read More

New Sitcom to Be Released this Fall - "Love Child"

Raving Reviews is proud to announce an exclusive story today straight from Hollywood; a new sitcom is being developed to take advantage of recent headlines and the upcoming elections - the tentative title for the half-hour weekly series is "Love Child."

It was rumored that a number of other titles for the show were considered including:

• "I've got it Maid"
• "Lie Hard"
• "One & Half Marriages"
• "Three's a Crowd"
• "Family Values"
• "Gorilla in Our Midst"
• "Sex in the Statehouse"
• "I'll be Back"
• "You Can't Fight City Hall"
• "Power Corrupts"
• "A Family Affair"
• "Domestic Service"

"Love Child" Plot Synopsis

A powerful politician and wealthy heiress marry and form an unbeatable political alliance - together they conquer the State and set their sights on the White House. There's only one thing standing in their way towards the quest for ultimate power - women - And lot's of 'em!

Talk about bimbo eruptions - this family is like Mount St. Helens! Watch the insanity as Governor Horndog tries and fails to ignore the multitude of women that parade by his door. Each episode puts us on the brink of nationwide scandal as loyal aids and family save the day with a new cover-up. But wait - Governor Horndog won't be so easily thwarted - when the pickings get thin at the office - he does his prowling on the home front!

And that's where the fun really begins. We meet junior, a seemingly normal adolescent who has one heck of secret - he's the Governor's Love Child living right in the same house. His mom may be the maid but this kid has got it made! It's non-stop hilarity as everyone has to keep this secret - for years...

Who wants to embrace an Ox? Good question

Any similarities between this show's plot and the recent scandal in California are somewhat coincidental and purely intentional.

 Love Child, by Diana Ross & Arnold (maybe)

Copyright 2011, Raving Reviews™

Read More

10 Reasons Why we Won't Watch Pirates of the Caribbean

We thought it only fair to announce why we're not going to review or even ever watch the latest sequel in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise; so here are our reasons:

1. We still remember the ride and now memories of our childhood have become intertwined with drunken, gay pirates and the Rolling Stones.
2. Zombies, mermaids and mythical sea creatures were not in the original ride and represent desperate attempts to stretch out what was already a thin plot from the first Pirates movie. It's clear there won't be much of a story.
3. It's just not the same without Keira - not that is was that great with her.
4. We're sick of being sucked into McMovie chain franchises like this and Transformers, although we can't wait for the next Bond film or another Star Trek or Star Wars - that's different.
   
5. Johnny Depp reminds us too much of those winos on the street asking for quarters.
6. We hate seafood.
7. We think Penelope Cruz would make a better Flamenco dancer than pirate - maybe that's sexist, but we just don't see it.
8. You can't convince us that any man wearing eye makeup would have lasted 5 minutes on a real pirate ship.
9. We believe in the War on Grog - "Don't do Rum."
10. Having Depp in the film was bad enough - actually putting Keith Richards in it was just too creepy.
    

Yo Ho Ho, which one is the animatronic Johnny Depp ???

Copyright 2011, Raving Reviews™

Read More

Life on Mars

One minute it's 2008 or 6 or maybe 2011, next thing you know its 1973 or 1972. Well, it gets a bit confusing - there were two shows, one on the BBC and one in the US on ABC. This review will cover the US series, although it is worth noting that there was a pilot version to the show that got scrapped (w/ the action taking place in L.A. instead of New York and with a largely different cast). We intend to do a review on the original (it took place first) BBC version later.

The first thing that struck us about Life on Mars was the attention to detail in trying to recreate a gritty big city atmosphere of the early 1970's. Some of us here are just old enough to sort of remember that and of course a period piece you can remember is quite different than a costume drama. We also were impressed with the cast and the premise of the show - we know it was borrowed but they still made it seem original (perhaps the 2nd try helped).

Life on Mars is named after the David Bowie song...

Life on Mars follows the rather bizarre circumstances of one Sam Tyler, a detective who while in the midst of trying to solve a case and save his girlfriend is hit by a car and wakes up in 1973. Somehow, Sam seems to have a purpose in 1973 - working in the same precinct as before as a new transfer - yet he spends the rest of the series trying to determine how and why he was transported back 35 years.

We liked the show and here's why:

1. The lead actors were excellent: Jason O'Mara, Harvey Keitel, Gretchen Mol and that guy from the Sopranos really hit it off. It was fun watching them and observing their characters grow - unfortunately it only lasted for one season.
2. We loved the music: Life on Mars scored much of their work to the best music from the early 1970's and you could tell they had fun doing it.
3. We loved the writing: not everyone can write well and as many of you probably can tell some folks on today's top sitcoms can't write at all. It's always a pleasure to see clever and meaningful dialog on a consistent basis. And given the subject matter they had opportunities to dive into some interesting philosophical territory.
   

This is the real David Bowie from about 1973 - we still don't get the whole Ziggy Stardust thing - but the song was good enough to somehow inspire this show.

We were especially impressed with Gretchen Mol and Jason O'Mara, both of whom have incredible star potential but haven't quite made it to that point yet (not sure why). Jason will be starring in this Fall's most interesting new series "Terra Nova" which is being produced by Steven Spielberg and Star Trek's Brannon Braga (who will act as Showrunner). It's a real shame that these two didn't have more time to develop the emerging plot line that connected their characters in Life on Mars - given the show's premature cancellation a somewhat abrupt ending was put together to wrap up loose ends. Even still, the series as a whole is exiting, fresh and entertaining throughout.

We highly recommend it.


Copyright 2011, Raving Reviews™

Read More

The World's Tallest Milkshake

Here at Raving Reviews we don't limit ourselves to just critiquing movies or TV, or even popular culture - we also review restaurants, attractions and even products - but only the things that really stand out. Today's review was definitely outstanding; the world's tallest milkshake.

When we went to Vegas some time back we knew we'd be on the lookout for great food - we don't tend to gamble much because we just don't have the aptitude or luck for that sort of thing. We do however have some skill in finding good restaurants. Anyway, we had gotten it into our heads that the best locales in Las Vegas were buffets, but last time around we were getting disappointed so we decided to try something different. We checked out the ESPN Zone but weren't too impressed and then we happened to be strolling through the Stratosphere Casino watching retirees sink all their life savings into the slots and then we heard what sounded like a concert. We were drawn to it somewhat like a siren call and then we soon discovered that there were two locations with live musical activity close to one another - one had drinks but the other looked like a diner so we ventured towards the diner.

As we entered it was soon apparent that this was no ordinary eatery. On half of the tables giant 2 foot tall milkshakes were fairly noticeable and the wait staff was dancing around with microphones in their hands. At first we wondered whether this was some bizarre variant of the ever-unpopular restaurant birthday humiliation ritual and were about to Skedaddle - but it soon became apparent that they were singing for everyone and there were no birthday lyrics. So we took a booth.

We were too dumbstruck to videotape our experience at Roxy's, but many others have

We were hungry and decided to go with both shakes and typical diner fare - hamburger, fries, onion rings - the works. While we were waiting for our meal we noticed that the wait staff sometimes took turns signing and sometimes joined in together a bit like a mini-musical and in some cases the patrons stood up and joined in. We were somewhat dazed by the whole experience given our previous dining history - it just wasn't something our rather conventional brains could comprehend too well, but it did seem like a lot of fun.

And then they arrived. Two foot tall milkshakes in giant plastic glasses that were shaped in the form of the Stratosphere tower. We estimate that each one of these mega-shakes had approximately 3,000 calories worth of jaw-dropping ice cream mixtures in them although there is no way of telling for certain. We figured ours were probably even more densely packed with calories given that we had added fudge and extra whipped cream. The shakes came first and as you might have expected that's all she wrote for the rest of the meal. Our stomachs were pretty well extended to max by the time the fries and burgers arrived - we had just enough room to taste them but no more. We seem to remember that they were good but everything got a bit blurry after the milkshakes as we sank into a semi-euphoric state of near oblivion.

The Stratosphere casino has a giant tower, some games in it, other restaurants and even a few shows but all we can remember is Roxy's Diner. We figure it should only be visited a maximum of once per year to avoid overdosing on their shakes - but the next time we're in Vegas not gambling we're going to spend most of our time there.

Our next review of unique restaurant Americana will be the Velvet Elvis (located in Patagonia Arizona), home of some of the most unique pizzas on the planet.


Copyright 2011, Raving Reviews™

Read More