A Latin Groove - Raving Playlist

White geeks from Ohio can have some ritmo tambien - you better believe it. To prove our point we're sharing our one and only (so far) Latin music playlist on Spotify. If you've never heard Mana, Carlos Vives or Juanes before you're in a for a treat. These guys rock and who cares if you can't understand the lyrics, it never stopped you before, right? There's other interesting Latin music mixed in for fun as well. Mi casa es su casa, disfruta...

Juanes is from Colombia and although we don't know what he's saying in Yerbatero - it sure sounds good

 

A Latin Groove:
Maná – No ha parado de llover - unplugged
Santana – Maria Maria - Radio Mix
Los Lonely Boys – Heaven
Maná – Perdido en un barco
Gloria Estefan – Mi Tierra
Juanes – Yerbatero
Los Lonely Boys – Dime Mi Amor
Ricky Martin – La Bomba - MTV Unplugged Version
Carlos Vives – La Piragua
Maná – Oye mi amor
Los Lobos – Volver, Volver
Tito Puente – Mambo Gozon
Gloria Estefan – Ayer
Paul Simon – Late In The Evening
Maná – Te solté la rienda
Santana – Jingo - Album Verision
Los Diablitos – LOS CAMINOS DE LA VIDA
Marc Anthony – I Need To Know
Los Warahuaco – Cumbia Solitaria
Los Lonely Boys – Señorita
Celia Cruz – Cao Cao Mani Picao
Lucho Bermudez Y Su Orquesta – Colombia, Tierra Querida
Santana – Smooth
Maná – Desapariciones
Los Gaiteros de San Jacinto – Fuego De Cumbia (Cumbia Fire)
Luis Ariel Rey – Carmentea
Santana – Africa Bamba
Thalia – Amor A La Mexicana (Original Version)
Ricky Martin – Livin' La Vida Loca
Gipsy Kings – Djobi Djoba
Abba – Fernando
Santana – Put Your Lights On
Shakira;Artista Invitado Alejandro Sanz – La Tortura
Maná – Rayando el sol
Los 8 De Colombia – El Sanjuanero
Marc Anthony – Este Loco Que Te Mira
Enrique Iglesias – Bailamos - Wild Wild West/Soundtrack Version
Ricky Martin – María
Roberto Torres – Caballo Viejo
Santana – Samba Pa' Ti
Harry Belafonte – Banana Boat Song
Jennifer Lopez duet with Chayanne – Dame (Touch Me) - Duet With Chayanne
Robert Rodriguez's CHINGON – Cielito Lindo
Celia Cruz – Guantanamera
Santana – Oye Como Va
Peter Gabriel – San Jacinto
Maná – En el muelle de San Blás
Los Warahuaco – El Pescador De Baru
Elefante – Sabor A Chocolate
Maná – Se me olvidó otra vez
Gipsy Kings – Volare
Julio Iglesias – La Carretera
Juanes – Es Por Tí
Robert Rodriguez's CHINGON – Malagueña Salerosa
Rodolfo y su Típica RA7 – La Colegiala
Abba – Chiquitita
Fruko Y Sus Tesos – Barranquillero Arrebatao
Maná – Ana
Paul Simon – Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard
Celia Cruz – La Negra Tiene Tumbao
The Champs – Tequila (Original)
Maná – Cachito - unplugged
Los Lobos – La Bamba
Santana – Corazon Espinado featuring Mana
Ricky Martin – La Copa De La Vida (La Cancion Oficial De La Copa Mundial, Francia '98) - Spanish
Gipsy Kings – Hotel California
Julio Iglesias – Agua Dulce, Agua Salá
Liberación – Corazón Prisionero - Dueto Con Cardenales De Nuevo León
Celia Cruz – Caramelos
Tito Puente – Oye Como Va (Bongo Edit)
Colombia Alegre Y Romantica – Brujeria
Juan Carlos Coronel – Patacón Pisa'o
Jennifer Lopez – Si Ya Se Acabo
Juanes – El Burrito De Belén
Maná – Vivir sin aire
Harry Belafonte – Coconut Woman
Juanes – La Camisa Negra
Relaxing Instrumental Jazz Ensemble – Besame Mucho (Tribute To Andrea Bocelli)
La Yanta – Papy No Me Dejes Sola
Jesse & Joy – Chocolate

Copyright 2012 - Raving Reviews - All Rights Reserved

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A Raving Pitch - Attack of the Right Brain

Today we're going to introduce the Raving Pitch. What is a Raving Pitch you ask; it is our attempt to sell a really great film or television idea to Hollywood, Bollywood or Vancouver (we're not picky). Every Raving Pitch consists of the following elements:

• A catchy movie title
• Dramatic synopsis
• Genre designation/s
• Recommended cast
• A catchy slogan or line that can be used on the poster art
• One liners for the script
• A mash-up description (e.g. how the idea relates to other better known ideas that someone did approve and produce).  
• 5 really good reasons why someone has to make this movie
• Completely unrelated thoughts that demonstrate our creative volatility and hipness

Today's Raving Pitch is "Attack of the Right Brain."

Genre - Horror/ Sci-Fi

"I'm totally in touch with my feelings"

Dramatic Synopsis - Dr. Roger Bork was just an ordinary guy working in a college bio-weapons lab when he met Lola, the yoga instructor at the local YMCA. Their fiery passion was threatened though by the tension between her Right Brained alternative lifestyle and his Left Brained logic. Fearing he might lose her forever, Roger tracks down Timothy Leary's little known research on how to be hip without really trying and uses his weapons lab to create a super-Right brain. But it all goes horribly wrong as his transcendental harmonic convergence goes on a killing rampage at the campus.

The Peter Lorre of our Generation

Possible Theme Song - "Brains"

Cast - Steve Buscemi as Dr. Bork; J-Lo as Lola; John Goodman as General Drones

Slogan  - "Two Hearts living in one mind, gone mad"

One Liners - "Meditate on this!" , "Take two hundred aspirin and never call me again..."

Mash-Up Description:  It's like "Prometheus" meets "The Women" or "Mac versus PC"

Reasons why the movie should be made:

1. Everyone has brains and most people have both Left and Right brains.
2. Steve Buscemi is an irresistible box office draw and this movie was made for him.
3. Brains are icky, scary and make excellent monsters.
4. Kids love thinking with and about their brains - so it will appeal to the youth market.
5. Our Right brain says we should trust our instincts and share our love with the whole world and our Left Brain has lots of good ideas for product placement.
   

Completely random thought - check this out - it will blow your mind, which part we can't say though.

Hold me closer tiny dancer, and stop switching directions I'm getting really confused !

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Wildfire - A Raving Playlist

We got the inspiration for this playlist several years ago when we were out in Arizona and there was not one but multiple wildfires in the mountains surrounding us. As we watched the helicopters dropping water and fire retardant on the flames we began building our playlist on Napster. Napster has since come and gone and we have updated the list several times to include drought-related themes (from last Summer) and now the list is on Spotify here.

Arizona is on fire a lot, but we still like it

 

Wildfire Playlist:

Kings Of Leon – Sex On Fire
Talking Heads – Burning Down The House
Sting – Be Still My Beating Heart
3 Doors Down – Going Down In Flames
Soundgarden – Black Hole Sun
Elvis Presley – Burning Love
The Trammps – Disco Inferno (single)
Midnight Oil – Beds Are Burning
Billy Joel – We Didn't Start The Fire
Social Distortion – Ring Of Fire
The Black Keys – Just a Little Heat
The Marshall Tucker Band – Fire On The Mountain
Candlebox – Cover Me
Elton John – Candle In The Wind
Sting – Desert Rose
Rick James – Fire And Desire
Candlebox – Sweet Summertime
Kiss – Heaven's On Fire
10,000 Maniacs – A Campfire Song
Sting – Fields Of Gold
Ohio Players – Fire
Madonna – Burning Up
Nirvana – Lake Of Fire
The Gap Band – Burn Rubber On Me (Why You Wanna Hurt Me)
Disturbed – Inside The Fire
The Wailers – Burnin' And Lootin'
Savage Garden – Crash And Burn
10,000 Maniacs – Dust Bowl
Bad Company – Burning Sky
The Police – Invisible Sun - 2003 Stereo Remastered Version
Patti LaBelle – Burnin' (The Fire Is Still) Burnin' For You
Third Eye Blind – Burning Man
Wilson Pickett – In The Midnight Hour
Blue Oyster Cult – Burnin' For You
Linda Ronstadt – Heat Wave
The Allman Brothers Band – The Heat Is On
Bangles – Eternal Flame
Nickelback – Burn It To The Ground
Kings Of Leon – Pyro
The Killers – Mr. Brightside
Red Hot Chili Peppers – Blood Sugar Sex Magik
Van Halen – Hot For Teacher
Deep Purple – Smoke On The Water
Bruce Springsteen – Dry Lightning
Radiohead – Paranoid Android
Foo Fighters – Bridge Burning
Otis Redding – The Match Game
John Mellencamp – Paper In Fire
Linkin Park – Burning In The Skies
Buckcherry – Lit Up
Candlebox – Far Behind
10,000 Maniacs – The Painted Desert
Kings Of Leon – Arizona
Jessie James – Burnin' Bridges
Dido – Burnin Love
Shinedown – Burning Bright
R.E.M. – Shiny Happy People
Franz Ferdinand – This Fire
The Black Keys – Strange Desire
Kings Of Leon – Radioactive
PORNO FOR PYROS – Pets
Sleeping With Sirens – Fire
Santana – Smooth
Billy Idol – Hot In The City - 2001 Digital Remaster
White Zombie – Thunder Kiss '65
David Bowie – Cat People [Putting Out The Fire]
The B-52's – Bushfire
The Cars – Tonight She Comes
The Hollies – Long Cool Woman (In A Black Dress)
Maná – Rayando el Sol [En vivo]
John Mellencamp – Cherry Bomb
Smash Mouth – Walkin' On The Sun
Enya – Storms In Africa - Remastered 2009
U2 – The Unforgettable Fire
Kansas – Fight Fire With Fire
The Doors – Light My Fire
The Bangles – Eternal Flame
Blind Melon – No Rain
The Black Crowes – Twice As Hard
The Cult – Fire Woman

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Flight Crash Lands

We went out to the movies last night and witnessed a horrific disaster - there was an uncontrollable dive - then it burst into flames and crashed into the ground. Actually, we're not talking about the plane crash scene - we're talking about the whole movie. "Flight" has to be one of the worst films this season. This is the worst work Robert Zemeckis has done since "Who Framed Roger Rabbit."

Roger Rabbit probably did a better job than Denzel in Flight

 Ground control to Denzel, here's why we are panning this flick:

1. Because the crash should have occurred at the end instead of the beginning; it was fairly anti-climatic the way it worked out.
2. Because having a crotch-close up in the first shot of the movie doesn't lend a lot of credibility to it.
3. Because no human being could drink as much as Denzel's character and live.
4. Because Denzel makes a truly awful and unconvincing drunk. 
5. Because a British actress playing a Southern crack-ho doesn't come off as very convincing.
6. Because movies ought to a have a plot.
7. Because the movie can't decide whether it wants to be Cheech & Chong or Days of Wine and Roses. Talk about sending mixed messages - it's wrong to drink but it's ok to be a super-cool coke head?
8. Because they wasted a lot of talent. Denzel, John Goodman and Don Cheadle (who looked as though he wished he was anywhere else but in this movie).
9. Because it was predictable - we knew exactly what Denzel would do for most of the movie including the big "surprise" confession during the hearing. Know why, because the movie was one giant cliche. 
10. Because an inside look into the porn industry is just one of several bizarre and meaningless redirects tossed into a movie that seems as though it was made up as they went along.
11. Because only playing 3 to 5 seconds of really cool popular songs is annoying and none of that coolness rubs off onto the movie.
12. Because making fun of people on chemo isn't cool.

1,296 bottles of beer on my wall...

We're thinking of suing the airline over our lost $31 dollars. This was a movie that was supposed to be about a heroic pilot but turned out to be about a silly alcoholic. At the very least, Denzel and Bruce Greenwood got a chance to catch up as this might have been their first project together since St. Elsewhere (a real show). Although Bruce and Denzel share 20 minutes on screen and seem to have the rapport of two strangers sitting in a waiting room, so who knows. And what was with the crazy religious co-pilot and his wife shouting praise Jesus - another wacky misdirection which led nowhere. Do yourselves a favor and don't book passage on Flight. Heck even the name of the movie seems to forewarn us that the makers of this dud wouldn't know originality if it fell out of the sky and crashed on top of them.   

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10 Reasons JJ Abrams Should never direct a Star Wars Movie

There are rumors flying about Hollywood this week that Lost creator, JJ Abrams may be hired to direct one or more of the new Star Wars episodes under Disney supervision. We're very concerned about this; in fact we're a bit horrified.

JJ Abrams, the force is not with you

We don't think JJ Abrams should ever direct a Star Wars film and here's why:

# 1 Reason Why JJ Abrams should never direct a Star Wars movie: Because he created and directed Lost, and we'll never forgive him for the several hours we Lost trying to figure it out. And what was with that Smoke Monster anyway?

Historians, scholars and psychologists have all determined that Lost was really stupid

# 2 Reason Why JJ Abrams should never direct a Star Wars movie: Because he's named JJ; this is simply not diginified enough to qualify.

The smoke monster, you'll never look at your fireplace the same way again

# 3 Reason Why JJ Abrams should never direct a Star Wars movie: Because he directed the new Star Trek remake (2010) and filmed most of it in a a beer factory. Warp engines shouldn't look microbrewery vats.

Free samples after every shot, the cast loves beer!

# 4 Reason Why JJ Abrams should never direct a Star Wars movie: It is illegal, immoral and unethical to mix the Star Wars and Star Trek franchises.

This could result in a holy war

# 5 Reason Why JJ Abrams should never direct a Star Wars movie: Because JJ is addicted to lens flaring to avoid creating actual scenes.

Maybe if we can't see the picture we won't figure out it sucks?

# 6 Reason Why JJ Abrams should never direct a Star Wars movie: Because he is not George Lucas. enough said.

# 7 Reason Why JJ Abrams should never direct a Star Wars movie: Because he owns too much Disney stock and there will likely be a conflict of interest with him succumbing to pressure to include Disney characters into the episodes.

Merchandising gone wild

# 8 Reason Why JJ Abrams should never direct a Star Wars movie: He's just too damn busy. We need someone with a bit more time on their hands - this shouldn't be rushed.

# 9 Reason Why JJ Abrams should never direct a Star Wars movie:  Because Cloverfield was almost as stupid as Lost. It seems as it was the smoke monster doing a cameo.

Cloverfield could never compete with the Frankenstorm

# 10 Reason Why JJ Abrams should never direct a Star Wars movie:  Because we're interviewing for the job, put in a good word for us.

 Copyright 2012 - Raving Reviews - All Rights Reserved

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Top 10 Ways to get the Plague - The Tudors

In the Showtime series, The Tudors, one of the things we learn early on is that the plague is an ever present part of Medieval Life. In fact King Henry VIII's son and a close friend both die from what is known as the Sweating Sickness (see the picture below).

A victim in the advance stages of sweating sickness

While doing diligent research on The Tudors for our reviews we came across some little known but potentially valuable medical advice from the mid-1500's that was no doubt employed to keep the plague at bay. This find consists of two top 10 lists; one to avoid the plague in the first place and the second concerns itself with how to cure yourself of plague.

Diagnosing Plague involved rigorous scientific discipline

Top 10 Ways to Avoid the Plague:

1. Never French-kiss a witch (you can try the floating in the bathtub test to determine if she is a witch).
2. Never get too familiar with your familiars - if you have black cats or other demons in familiar form around the house, don't let them in your bed. 
3. Never start, buy or otherwise own a Flea Circus. 
4. Don't listen to Ben when he asks you to let all of his buddies move in with you.
5. Don't lick reptiles even if they taste really, really good.
6. Don't listen to heresy like the Earth is Round - it'll only lead to trouble.
7. Don't eat cooked bacon - it's much better raw.
8. Bleed yourself regularly and for God's sake don't wash the knife. 
9. Bathing, except for witches, is generally frowned upon.
10. Don't have picnics next to mass burial sites.

Contrary to popular belief - Plague was well understood in Medieval Times (not the restaurant show attraction - but the time period)

If those tips didn't prevent the onset of Plague or Sweating Sickness, there was still hope. Here are the Top 10 Medieval Cures for Plague:

1. Burn a witch for good luck.
2. Burn a neighbor good luck (you must accuse them of heresy first).
3. Cover yourself in a poultice of warm cow dung and dance in a circle for 3 hours.
4. If you must take a bath (due to high fever let's say), fill the water with fresh cow urine and dung.
5. Never ever pop the plague postules - let them get as big as possible.
6. Bleed yourself, a lot.
7. Hide under a table or bed - eventually the plague will become confused and leave.
8. Remove your eyes, that way you can't see the plague anymore and it won't be able to see you either.
9. Flog yourself and others nearby.
10. Drink massive amounts of ale and grog if available, and let your milk ferment before drinking.

We love the BBC - and Horrible Histories

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Medieval Family - The Tudors

Every family has their issues; some it appears are more dysfunctional than others though. And this has been true across the ages. It's especially difficult when the family goes through a contested divorce and has custody battles and so forth. Now, imagine sticking all of this somewhere in the mid-1500's where plagues and witch-burning were common and indoor plumbing wasn't and you can see that a Medieval Family, like the Tudors was bound to have challenges.

King Henry VIII has a bit of a reputation but of course he didn't live alone, he had family, friends, advisers and enemies and they were all part of the troubles surrounding the reign of the Tudors. That's the focus of a superb showtime original series that's now available on Netflix. "The Tudors" takes us back in time and deep into the family life of one Henry Tudor of England. It's attention to detail and use of costume is one of the most remarkable aspects of the show, which lasted for 3 or 4 seasons. Now, it is very difficult to review something as massive as this show given the sheer quantity of storyline it tackles, so we will return to it from time to and focus on specific parts of the series. Today we're going to introduce the head of the family, Henry...

These troubadours were immediately beheaded after this impertinent performance

Is it better to be feared or loved? We soon found out what Henry VIII thought...

Jonathan Rhys Meyers plays King Henry and throws himself into the role immediately. His King Henry is more youthful and girl-crazy than we might have imagined but that seems to make sense given when they begin the story. Meyer's has played some offbeat characters before, notably the psycho confederate raider in "Ride with the Devil." He is supported by a wildly talented cast including Sam Neill, Henry Cavill (who will be the new Superman) and Natalie Dormer (who had a cameo in Captain America as the hot blonde) among others. This show is gripping, it's educational, its sexy and its just fun to watch. And Henry is by no means the only bad guy in the story. In fact, he seems surrounded by a host of characters far worse than himself which seems hard to believe but it's true. Most of all though Henry is a man in love, in love all the time with a lot of different women but a few times with just one and he takes it to the extreme. We were wondering what would have happened to England if they had No Fault Divorce back then. Anyway, like the intro tells, to really know a story like this one, you'll have to sit through at least 3 seasons of episodes to truly understand what's going on. Lucky for us, they were all easy to watch.

This is King Henry VIII's lesser known 7th wife, Queen Sofia of Spain

A condensed history of the first 2 seasons of the Tudors

There are also a great many lessons to be learned in this series as well. We'll refer to these as the Tudor's Family Counseling Guide:

1. Never kiss your brother behind closed doors.
2. Don't threaten to chop off people's heads unless you're actually going to do it right away.
3. Don't count on the King of France for anything.
4. Don't joust with the King.
5. Don't have daughters and expect to live.
6. Don't start your own religion just to get divorced.
7. Don't get an apartment in the Tower of London.
8. Don't disagree with the King, daddy knows best. 
9. Don't end your sentences with "I am the Kind of England" it just comes across as arrogant.
10. Don't marry off your 4 year old daughters.
11. Don't introduce your hot girlfriend/wife/daughter/aunt/niece/grandma to the King and not expect her to get booty-called.
12. Don't run around in drafty castles naked (or you may end up with Consumption).

Copyright 2012 - Raving Reviews™ - All Rights Reserved

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Welcome to the Zombie Apocalypse - Raving Playlist

We had hoped to post this just before Halloween, but things got out of hand and we forgot. This is another of our themed playlists - today's list is a tribute to zombies, ghouls and other-worldly paranormal music. We also think it's important that when the Zombie Apocalypse does occur (probably sometime in December) that everyone have the appropriate soundtrack ready to play as the undead devour our brains.

Rob Zombie needs no monster makeup - an Excitable Boy for sure

 

Welcome to the Zombie Apocalypse (here it is on Spotify):

Rob Zombie – Dragula
Tom Petty – Zombie Zoo
Danny Jacob – My Undead Mummy and Me
Blue Oyster Cult – (Don't Fear) The Reaper
Vaski – Zombie Apocalypse
Jonathan Coulton – Re: Your Brains
Rob Zombie – American Witch
The Doors – The End
The Flaming Lips – If I Only Had A Brain
Death Cab for Cutie – Earth Angel
Misfits – Monster Mash
Warren Zevon – Excitable Boy - 2007 Remastered LP Version
Jonathan Coulton – Tom Cruise Crazy
White Zombie – I, Zombie
Rob Zombie – Living Dead Girl
Here Come The Mummies – Ra Ra Ra
Dead Man's Bones – My Body's a Zombie For You
Kansas – Dust In The Wind
Horrorpops – Walk Like A Zombie
Natalia Kills – Zombie
Wagner – Die Walkure - Ride of the Valkyries (as heard in Apocalypse Now)
St. Vincent – The Apocalypse Song
Horrorpops – Walk Like A Zombie
Warren Zevon – Werewolves Of London
House of Heroes – Lovesick Zombie
White Zombie – More Human Than Human
Sohodolls – My Vampire
Jonathan Coulton – Still Alive (feat. Sara Quin)
Ghoultown – Drink With The Living Dead
Beardyman – Vampire Skank
R.E.M. – It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)
Escape the Fate – My Apocalypse
Social Distortion – Road Zombie
The Casualties – Apocalypse Today
Crooked Fingers – Your Apocalypse
Paramore – Monster
Rage Against The Machine – Born As Ghosts
Here Come The Mummies – Booty
White Zombie – Thunder Kiss '65
Lady Gaga – Monster
R.E.M. – Bang And Blame
Social Distortion – Mommy's Little Monster
Voltaire – Vampire Club (Twilight version)
Josh Ritter – Monster Ballads
Bobby "Boris" Pickett – Monster Mash
Warren Zevon – Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner - 2007 Remastered LP Version
Misfits – Night Of The Living Dead
blink-182 – Ghost On The Dance Floor
Sugarcult – Dead Living
Florence + The Machine – Ghosts - Demo
Stevie Nicks – Moonlight [A Vampire's Dream]
Superdrag – Do The Vampire
Kreeps – Bad Voodoo
Radiohead – Give Up The Ghost
Annie Lennox – Love Song For A Vampire
The London Suede – The Living Dead
Stars – I Died So I Could Haunt You
Paramore – Misguided Ghosts
The Wailin' Jennys – Apocalypse Lullaby
The Brains – Screaming
Tilly And The Wall – Nights of the Living Dead
Fright Ranger – Oh Oh Oh Sexy Vampire (JUSTiNB's Video Edit)
The Bees – These Are The Ghosts (Undead Version)
The Decemberists – Dracula's Daughter > O Valencia!
Here Come The Mummies – Attack Of The Wiener Man
Paramore – Misery Business
Zombie Girl – Living Dead Superstars
Counting Crows – A Long December
Falling In Reverse – I'm Not A Vampire
Flogging Molly – May The Living Be Dead In Our Wake
Stars – We Don't Want Your Body
My Chemical Romance – The Ghost Of You
Living Colour – Elvis Is Dead
Dr. Dog – Vampire
White Zombie – Children Of The Grave
Warren Zevon – I'll Sleep When I'm Dead
Alice In Chains – Check My Brain
Alice In Chains – The Killer Is Me
Soundgarden – The Day I Tried To Live
Soundgarden – Fell On Black Days
The Bangles – Walk Like An Egyptian - Album/Single
The Hollies – Witchy Woman
Donovan – Season Of The Witch
Queens Of The Stone Age – Burn The Witch
Alvin And The Chipmunks – Witch Doctor
The Sonics – The Witch
The Cult – The Witch (edit)
Nekromantix – I Kissed a Ghoul
Butthole Surfers – Dracula From Houston
Zombina & The Skeletones – Dracula Blood
The Decemberists – Calamity Song
Morcheeba – Blood Like Lemonade
Eric Weissberg & Deliverance – Dueling Banjos
Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Skeletons
Crash Test Dummies – The Ghosts That Haunt Me
Eddie Spaghetti – Sleepy Vampire
U2 – Until The End Of The World
Concrete Blonde – Bloodletting (The Vampire Song)

Warren Zevon back in the day, when he was cool

Copyright 2012 - Raving Reviews™ - All Rights Reserved

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Why We Don't Believe in Ratings

You may have noticed that we don't have ratings associated with any of our reviews and were probably wondering - why is it we don't have any stars, smiley faces, points or grades assessed to these movies and things we're critiquing? Well, we have an answer to your burning question - at least this one anyway. We here at Raving Reviews do not believe in ratings. Why, you ask? You sure do ask a lot of questions, ok, here's our list as to why we don't believe in ratings:

• Ratings are subjective, art is subjective, subjectivity is subjective. (we're very objective in making these claims)

"That's 1 star out of 4 you miserable little punk "- oh the memories we can never erase...

• Because we were rated in playgrounds as children and are emotionally scarred now.

• Because we don't believe in IQs and ratings are a lot like IQs.

Our IQ is none of your business, not that they're small - 'cause they're not - really

• Because it's all political and we hate politics. (well, sometimes)

• Because we don't know more than you do and you don't more than us and this is a Democracy damn it ! (guess we do like politics after all).

• Because low ratings might cause otherwise nice people to starve or high ratings might allow jerky people to get rich just because they're good directors or actors, etc. (we're sure that some of Hollywood's worst films were created by its nicest residents).

• What if we had ratings in the Louvre? Would you give the Mona Lisa a 2.3 out 5 - or worse?

This is what would happen if the Louvre had ratings.

• We believe in the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle of Motion Pictures; "When you measure a movie, you become part of that movie's marketing campaign."

If you're not sure about this, join the club

•  Because not everything is about logic you green-blooded, pointy-eared bastard!

I need a stress pill

• Because we don't believe in standardized assessments and making everyone think the same way. We're not robots, we're human beings dammit! (refer to photo above). 

• Because we reserve the right to change our minds and those pesky ratings might pin us down.

• Because it's hard to rate geniuses and even harder to rate morons. 

We hope that answers all of your questions, we've got a survey for you to fill out now.

Copyright 2012 - Raving Reviews™ - All Rights Reserved

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The Thing - A Raving Classic

What makes a movie a classic film? Is it the age of the picture, its relative popularity; does it have to be one particular genre or is it a genre unto itself? Do critics determine what is or isn't classic or is it the movie lovers? Do you have to take film appreciation courses to be able to identify whether or not a movie is classic? We will try to answer those questions for you as we introduce the first review in a new series we're calling, Raving Classics.

Answers:

1. You don't have to take any film classes to be able to identify a classic. We took some of those classes and can assure you they were a giant waste of time.
2. Classics don't belong to any one genre or any one time - they cross all of them. Films released this year could be classics and virtually any type of film might be considered classic - even some documentaries (Capra's "Why we Fight" is a good example).
3. You don't need critics to tell what is a classic, but they can help you find them if you haven't already discovered them on your own.

Classic Criteria: Here are some guidelines that might be used to help assess whether a film is worthy of being called "Classic."

• It's fun to watch.
• It never gets old - you watch it over and over again and still appreciate it.
• It makes you feel something, or think something new, interesting or otherwise thrilling.
• A classic often gets remade, but the remakes to a real classic never measure up to the original (which is perhaps why no one has tried a remake of Gone with the Wind).
• A classic has memorable moments that stay with you and often these become cultural guideposts or pillars that help to define an age.

So there you have it; our criteria for a classic film. With that we will now review our first Raving Classic - just in time for the onset of cold weather but not too long after Halloween. We're reviewing one of our favorite movies ever - John Carpenter's, The Thing.

Things heat up in the coldest place in the world... Poster art for The Thing

John Carpenter's The Thing (1982) is all about atmosphere - it takes us to the end of the world and strands us there with a handful of bearded and ultimately desperate men (this is definitely not a chick flick). The film's understated soundtrack evokes Jaws but at a much deeper level - helping to establish a sense of foreboding that builds steadily as we drive deeper into the mystery and paranoia that ensues. As you may know this film is itself a remake of a 1951 film and has been remade again recently (2011), which makes it a bit unusual as classics go in that the second one hit the jackpot while the first and third tries missed badly.

CPR was never the same after this scene from "The Thing"

 John Carpenter's The Thing succeeded where the others failed for a number of reasons:

1. An excellent ensemble cast with a very strong performances by the lead Kurt Russell and his sort of nemesis, Keith David (who can now be seen in Cloud Atlas).
2. A very neatly wrapped storyline - it wasn't complicated by any means - but seemed perfectly believable. We're dropped right into the situation and accept it instantly.
3. The tension of this film is palpable. Even after watching it more than 10 times it's still there - and the question of whether or not you can trust the folks around you allows us to drop into a temporary paranoid fantasy without having to stay too long (unlike the X-Files).
4. No One Gets Out Alive - How cool is that? No obvious sequels with the same cast anyway.
5. The Big Question - This film doesn't answer the big question -  what happens next and that makes the movie even more menacing. The 2011 remake actually represents a sort of prequel with a focus on the Norwegian team that dug up the monster so we've still never found out what happened when the rescue team returns to the American Research station.
6. The Battle between McCready and the Monsters was Epic - This guy was cool, the hat, the Whiskey and the wits to take on the toughest bastards in the galaxy.
7. Groundbreaking Special Effects - This movie came well before the advent of computer animation. These monsters were handcrafted with lots of love and still look convincing today. Who can ever forget the slime dogs and spider-head guy?  Unlike many monster, alien or horror flicks, these effects truly advance the plot and ensure the believability of the premise. They are among us and they are not nice...

McCready encounters a dead Norwegian (segue to 2011 remake)

The characters in The Thing seem like a very ordinary bunch of men placed in an extraordinary situation which unfolds before their eyes very rapidly. The situation makes them question who exactly their co-workers are in a more profound way than most of us will ever do. And keep in mind, the first two versions of the Thing were still very much Cold War metaphors - placing them both in cold locales was like having your cake and eating it too.  Being paranoid and scared can be a lot of fun, so next time it starts snowing out, turn the lights down low and watch the 1982 version of The Thing.

A really great trailer, but that's to be expected. 

 

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